Man Eats Morrisons 'Flaming Fiery Phaal' Curry, Really Regrets Decision

If you take a bite of a delicious-looking cake, only to find it is riddled with the hidden evil that is marzipan, then you can quite rightly feel aggrieved - as it is hidden.

However, if you consciously decide to consume a curry called the 'Flaming Fiery Phaal', which comes with an eight chilli heat warning, then you really only have yourself to blame when it blows your stupid head off.

But just in case you have any dormant desires to try the fearsome curry, let David Langley's story serve as a deterrent.

Having made the predictably terrible decision to take on the curry, Mr Langley warned other against make the same mistake in no uncertain terms.

In a tweet, he said: "Do NOT buy this from Morrisons. Nearly fucking killed me!!"

Now, some would say this was plenty enough warning, when you consider the box itself also reads: "Warning: Exceptionally red hot and fiery chicken curry made with scorpion and naga chillies."

But Mr Langley decided to divulge much more detail about his near-death experience.

Morrisons

In his first of several follow-up tweets, he said: "Honestly people i took 2 mouthfulls and felt like someone had put a blow torch on my tongue. I drank 2 pints of water in about a minute and then sweat started pouring out of my head. Never ever tasted anything like it!! Took me about 45 minutes to calm the fuck down lol."

Reflecting on his misjudgement, he said: "Looking back i probably should have took note of the warnings on the cover..i just thought 'ooh i quite fancy a spicy curry'. I didn't realise i was potentially putting myself into such danger while watching Question Time lol"

From there things only got worse for Mr Langley though, who said he was becoming very well-acquainted with his toilet and that he had become 'scared to fart'.

But Mr Langley's suffering wasn't for nothing, sure by the sounds of it he now has a rectum like the Eye of Sauron, but his pain did at least make others chuckle.

One person said: "So sorry but you've really made me laugh The tweet if the week without a shadow of doubt. Get well soon!"

And just when you thought the foolishness had reached its peak, Mr Langely revealed that he had bought three of the things.

... Seriously, who the fuck buys three of these at once?

A Morrisons spokeswoman told LADbible she hoped David would be back eating curries soon.

She said: "The phaal is the hottest curry we sell, and definitely not one for the faint-hearted.

"We hope David feels better soon and that this hasn't put him off enjoying a curry in future."

Well good news Morrisons spokesman, at the end of it all, Mr Langley thankfully seems to be on the mend.

Good to hear, David.

Topics: Food, Funny, Interesting, Fail, Community

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

@jakesmassey