Credit: YouTube
The saying goes 'there's no accounting for taste' but every once in a while something comes along that is so diabolical that we, as a species, join together to denounce its very existence...
Credit: YouTube
And so, on National Pizza Day, I present you with what is very likely the World's Worst Pizza. It starts off well enough - a massive hunk of dough which the pizza chef sets about kneading.
Credit: YouTube
He throws it up into the air, which, if we're being honest, he doesn't do a great job of and it ends up with a massive hole in it, but he patches it up, perseveres and gets the kneaded and stretched dough ready.
Credit: YouTube
At this point, you'd be forgiven for thinking all is going to go well, but then we get to the toppings. Now, I won't lie to you, I'm actually struggling to discern what the toppings are.
Credit: YouTube
He starts off with a slightly oddly-coloured base sauce that does not look like your classic marinara sauce to me. And this is just the start of where it all goes wrong...
Credit: YouTube
He then piles on what appears to be shredded chicken and plenty of it. There's absolutely no scrimping here - he's basically created a small hill of shredded chicken.
Credit: YouTube
On top of the chicken, he really goes for it and absolutely drowns the pizza in what looks like alfredo sauce - an unusual choice for a pizza.
Credit: YouTube
This image raises a lot of questions. Have you ever seen a pizza this wet before? How is he even hoping this will cook through? Who has ordered this? Does this pizza constitute some sort of crime? What would this pizza be called?
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Fully sauced up, the man then chucks a load of sweetcorn on top - a contentious pizza topping at the best of times - and ta-dah! It's all done and ready for the oven.
Credit: YouTube
One thing I will say is I cannot fault this guy's commitment to the craft. He gives it all a good go, doesn't he? Chucking the dough in the air, generous with the toppings, he even has a go at twirling a pizza pan on his finger like some sort of chef/basketball player hybrid. It's really just a shame that what he created is so grim.
Credit: YouTube
Again, in fairness to him, he watches over the pizza while it's cooking - as though it could somehow be ruined while in the oven - and moves it around to ensure it doesn't burn.
Credit: YouTube
After it's cooked, our friend here pulls it out, puts it in a pan and cuts it. Well, I say 'cuts it' he tries to cut it but the whole thing is so wet it just sort of sloshes about in an incredibly unappetising way.
Credit: YouTube
Then to add a little extra touch of flavour he lashes a couple of olives or possibly jalapenos on top with a Salt Bae-style flick of the wrist. Delicious.
Credit: YouTube
How much would you have to be paid to eat this? Honestly? Try, if you dare, to imagine chomping into this. The roof of your mouth and tongue absolutely eviscerated by the molten cheese sauce while you sit reassessing all the choices you made in life that lead to this moment.
Credit: YouTube
Having said all that, I'm as open minded as the next pizza-fan, so, if this is your order and you stand by it, then please get in touch to let me know how it tastes.
