You don't have to be a sick, twisted soul to play The Sims, but it certainly helps.
Everyone who has created their own virtual family has used them for nefarious means - surely that was the point? Was anyone actually trying to make their virtual pals have rich, fulfilling lives?
Creating nightmarish scenarios for your imaginary mates was basically the raison d'etre of The Sims, so when Reddit decided to tease people's deepest, darkest Sims confessions out of them, it isn't surprising that they were met with some real twisted stories.
Credit: EA / The Sims
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They range from the Ironic Punishment's section of hell - "One time I killed a Sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear" - to the downright cruel: one user wrote that "My teenage son decide waking up to his alarm and getting on the school bus was unimportant, so I locked him in a 1×1 room until he peed himself and died in the puddle."
Some of them were slightly longer form and need repeating in their entirety: "I made a guy who was a compulsive neat freak. Put him in a really surreal little house with a wedding buffet and a hamster or something, deleted the door.
"Eventually, he went insane from lack of cleanliness and depression over his little rodent friend dying, and starved to death once the banquet rotted. I put the resulting urn in the room. I then repeated an identical scenario several times, always keeping the urns in the room. Eventually, the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself."
Harsh. It gets yet harsher, however...
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"So, in my most recent Sims play-through, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and just increasing the relationship and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so I could marry his wife.
"Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because I didn't feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house."
Hats off, though, to the user who produced this piece of *ahem* magic in the one of the Sims spinoffs: "In Makin' Magic I had a brilliant dog called AJ who was loved by the whole family. He never had an off day and brought sheer joy to his owners. Decided to train my wizardry and get the spell that allowed you to turn pets into humans, so AJ could be even more a part of the family.
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"He turned out to be the biggest fucking assbag as a person and was abusive to his family, so we had to take care of him. I built a monolithic tomb, and trapped him inside. The family stood out front playing music to him as he slowly starved. They bought a new dog and played with it happily outside his eternal resting place to torture his trapped soul. Eventually a dragon burnt down the house and killed them all. What a game."
Take a bow.
Featured Image Credit: EA / The Sims