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'Gay' Man And Straight Wife Keep Marriage On Track With Therapy And 'Sex Discussions'

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'Gay' Man And Straight Wife Keep Marriage On Track With Therapy And 'Sex Discussions'

A mum says she's happily married to her gay husband - and they keep their relationship on track with weekly sex feedback sessions.

Brynn Embley, 35, describes herself as straight, while her husband Matthew Nielson, 33, identifies as gay or pansexual, and says he is 'more attracted to men than women'.

The couple are now four years into their relationship, are happy and monogamous, and have two daughters - Guinevere, one, and two-year-old Amandine.

Credit: SWNS
Credit: SWNS
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But before they met, Matthew dated men and women although he'd never had sex with anyone, including Brynn, before they tied the knot.

The pair are members of the of Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints - a faith which doesn't condone same sex relationships - and Matthew admits a strong motivation for dating women was so he didn't have to be single and celibate forever.

And while Brynn admits she sometimes feels insecure, she said she feels the relationship is stronger because it's NOT focused on physical chemistry.

Credit: SWNS
Credit: SWNS
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The unconventional pair keep their relationship on track with therapy and weekly sex discussions calendared in for every Thursday, where they offer feedback and tips.

Brynn, who lives in Ypsilanti, Michigan, USA, said: "We enjoyed kissing, and hoped everything else would at least be OK.

"I think that many more people are gay, bi, pan, or other, than have made that known openly.

"A lot of my previous relationships revolved around that chemical attraction, not having that be the driving force was refreshing.

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"And it turns out that the sex thing works great, so it all worked out!"

Matthew added: "I had never had sex before, with a man or a woman. I didn't even really know myself how strong my orientation to one gender or another might be.

"While I was more attracted to men, in general, there had been a few women to whom I was really attracted.

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"I had a strong motivation to try really hard to make it work with a woman so that I didn't have to be lonely and celibate for the rest of my life.

"I've heard gay men say that they can't even imagine trying to be sexual with a woman, and I have never felt that way.

"It is still not the strongest part of our relationship, it is easy for me to wonder about what I might be missing if I were in a relationship with a man.

"But that being said, we do enjoy having sex and being together in that way, which is a relief!"

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Credit: SWNS
Credit: SWNS

Brynn met Matthew for the first time at church in early 2016 and just a few dates in, he revealed he was gay.

He dated women throughout his twenties while being honest about his orientation, which received mixed responses, so he was nervous about what Brynn would think.

However, to his surprise, she shrugged it off.

The mum-of-two said: "He looked straight at me and said 'Brynn, I'm gay.' I remember it because he seemed so serious - or like he was looking for some sort of reaction from me.

"It just wasn't a huge deal, he was with me, his choice - what else mattered?

"I know he thinks I'm attractive, and I know he's drawn to me, and his sexual orientation didn't negate those things.

"I was really happy that I had a relationship where the selling point was liking and respecting each other as people."

Credit: SWNS
Credit: SWNS

The couple went to Manti, Utah to finally tie the knot on 27 December 2017, and were finally able to be intimate with each other.

Brynn said: "For a while I would get stressed out if we weren't having sex a certain number of times each week, because I thought it meant that Matthew wasn't enjoying it enough.

"That's not the case, and I try to remember that if we both feel satisfied sexually that's all that matters."

They even have weekly sex discussions calendared in for every Thursday.

Brynn said: "We share whether we need more, if there's anything the other can do to help make that a better part of our marriage, and so forth."

Credit: SWNS
Credit: SWNS

While Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew's sexuality isn't linear and he has identified as gay, pansexual and bisexual.

He said: "Pansexual is probably the most accurate - but it doesn't feel all the way right because I am still mostly attracted to men."

You can follow Brynn and Matthew on Instagram here.

Featured Image Credit: SWNS

Topics: LGBTQ+, Love, Interesting, Community

Rebecca Shepherd
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