Cum, spunk, jizz, sperm - whatever you call it, semen is usually the subject of many a joke, especially if you're as juvenile as me.
I'm guessing we've all dispensed a fair bit over the years, but have you ever stopped to really think about it, or do you just wipe it up and carry on? Have you ever considered the colour? Or even the smell?
If not, it might be time for you to have a look because the hue or odour of your ejaculate can say a lot about your health and fertility.
I'll start with the obvious stuff. I'm sure if any of you have noticed a red or brownish tinge to your semen, you've sought medical attention. If not, do so immediately, it could likely mean you're suffering from prostate problems, possibly even cancer.
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Other than that, there are various shades and colours that could indicate your jizz isn't as healthy as it should be. For example, if you notice yours looks slightly more transparent than you think it should be, that could be another indication of trouble.
It could be a sign of retrograde ejaculation, and hipsters don't get excited just because it says 'retro' in the name, it could indicate infertility. It is caused by a dysfunctional bladder, which could be rooted to a number of things like over indulging in cigarettes, alcohol or fast food. Be careful, lads.
Going in the opposite direction of colours, if you notice a yellow or green tinge in the usual whiteness of your load, you could be looking at an infection. This could range from chlamydia to gonorrhea, and most can be treated successfully depending on the severity of the infection.
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Then there's the smell. Now I'm guessing we're all not massive fans of the smell of our own cum - that'd be fucking weird. But we all know it as quite a distinctive odour.
However, if it gets to the point where you're repulsed by the smell of your sperm, go and get yourself checked.
Also, if you experience all the normal feeling of an orgasm, but don't seem to produce any sperm - often referred to as 'firing blanks' - that's also an area for worry. It's probably the biggest indication of infertility and also comes from retrograde ejaculation.
Now, if you suffer from premature ejaculation, I'm afraid I have no advice. So it's best to ask your doctor.
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If you suffer from any of these things, don't hesitate to head to your GP or the sexual health centre.
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