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The Age Old Question, Answered: How Much Wanking Is Too Much Wanking?

The Age Old Question, Answered: How Much Wanking Is Too Much Wanking?

Too much is never enough, sometimes.

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

We all have differing masturbation habits. Some people may only crack out one or two a week. Others might vigorously buff seven out on a hangover.

However much you do it, at one time or another you've probably asked yourself, "how much is too much? And will too much make me go blind?"

To illustrate my point in a SFW manner, here is a GIF of NBA hall of famer Charles Barkley enthusiatically using a Shake Weight.

via GIPHY

Glorious.

Fortunately for you, there is no specific number of wanks that any medical professional would consider 'too much'. Although it might not be great for your social life, multiple acts of self-pollution will have no detrimental effects on your health.

As much as that does sound like a blessing, if you're planning on breaking your record by kicking it up a gear and bashing out 12 in a day, do so cautiously.

While the amount might not matter, your style of masturbation could give you problems.

Porn stars discuss their ideal penis. Relentlessly fapped ones do not feature in the debate. Credit: Wood Rocket

If you handle your dick with the grace of Lennie from Of Mice and Men, then you might be putting your member at risk. You know that big throbbing vein that seems to be bigger than the rest on your penis? If he seems larger, harder or altogether more #swole than usual, then it might be time to tone down the manual domination of your dick. That's not a vein, it's a swollen lymph vessel.

You've put it through a beating mate, so it has quite literally had to toughen up. The condition is called Lymphangiosclerosis, and if you think you have it, lay off sexual activity until it softens up.

But if the vein persists as a big bulging monster for a while, you're best consulting your doctor. There may be clots.

via GIPHY

And wait, there's more. This may be obvious, but if you're jacking off to the point where your member is chaffed and irritable, you need to reign it in. Penises were not made to withstand friction burns, so if it feels like an F-16 engine is back-firing on your bellend when you masturbate, stop. Or, get a girlfriend.

Although there's no such thing as too much wanking, wanking in a way that's a bit much could cause problems.

So play it safe, especially if you're playing every 20 minutes.

Words by Mark McGowan

Featured Image Credit: