Melbourne Is Copping The F*cking Catalina Wine Mixer Next Month
Sure, there are parts of this world right now that are just straight up goddamn upsetting.
We've got mass shootings, we have income inequality making the rich richer and poor poorer and we have a potential shitshow on our hands with climate change.
But sometimes you've got to put that behind you and focus on the small silver linings in life...like the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer coming to Australia next month.
That's right, you read correctly: the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer isn't bringing boats and most probably not hoes but loads of wine to Australia's edgiest city in September.
The best part: the whole event is bloody free.
There are ticket packages available to spice things up a bit and make you feel like one of the rich people from Step Brothers.
For just $49 you can get three hours of bottomless wine and a wine sling to take home to show off to your significant other or pet just how much vino you can drink.
Next up is The Chopper package, which unfortunately doesn't include a helicopter ride (rude, right?), but it does come with the two fun items above as well as a Captain's hat and entry to the band room at 5pm for just $69.
There's no word on whether Brennan Huff or Dale Doback will be rocking out in their band duo, giving you the best version of 'Por Ti Volare' you've ever heard. One can only hope.
Then you've got the creme del la creme: the Super Yacht package.
For $130, you'll get the bottomless wine, wine sling, Captain's hat, entry to the VIP band area and bar AND an exclusive Catalina Wine Mixer T-shirt.
If you haven't got that much dosh to spread then it's just $5 to go in and see the band.
Howards Winery from South Australian is taking over Welcome To Thornbury's beer garden for this legendary experience where no doubt you can become best friends with some on September 14.
You can get your lux tickets from here and get your fancy pals together to talk nothing but boats, sailing the Med, buying stocks all while listening to some band.
Featured Image Credit: Columbia Pictures