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Survey Reveals When People Think It's Acceptable To Fart In Front Of Their Partner

Survey Reveals When People Think It's Acceptable To Fart In Front Of Their Partner

Does this seem accurate?

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

A recent survey, conducted by the website Mic, asked a load couples when they think it's acceptable to fart in front of their significant other.

The results found that the majority of lovers felt comfortable farting in front of each other after dating for six months.

There's some fair depth to the study, but as a lad, I don't think it goes deep enough. They've refused to acknowledge different types of farts, or how certain air biscuits may be acceptable on some occasions, but not on others. Here's a more detailed look at the stages.

mic
mic

We can all identify with the blue slice of the pie chart. I'm guessing most of us hold off the farting for the first few weeks, but begin to contemplate letting rip when the relationship progresses to nights in front of Netflix, after meals out at mid-range curry houses.

But even at this stage, there are many variables a man has to consider. Firstly, what's the current smell of the room like? If you think it might be an accidental stinker, will her perfume and lavender air freshener cover it up? If the answer to that question is 'no', even the most brazen farter will not risk it.

The survey found that after 6-12 months, many respondents just let rip. I assume this is because both parties like a good laugh, and we all know there's nothing funnier than a ground shaking gut-drop. Your girlfriend may not see the funny side in certain situations, so just make sure you're not tearing arse in front of her folks

Some participants said they wouldn't fart until after a year of dating. Personally, I will fart prior to a first anniversary. However, I'll wait until after a year to cock my leg, fart in her direction, and shout "get a whiff of that!". If she doesn't murder you at this stage, you're both destined for greatness.

The purple slice of the chart is perhaps the most interesting ('I'm human and I'm going to fart as soon as I need to'). These are the people who'd probably fart at their grandma's wake. And if that's not the case, then I'm sure they're well-versed in the phenomenon known as the 'Dutch Oven'.

For those who are unaware, it's the art of letting a smelly one go underneath your bed sheets. Once the smell has manifested itself under the cover, lift it up and waft the sheets about your partner's head.

If you're at this stage of a relationship, it's time to get the wedding invites ready.

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Topics: Study, Relationship