The UK's Heatwave Is Going To End Next Week
If you're one of those people who, like me, hasn't stopped complaining about how god damn hot it is - you'll probably be pretty pleased with the news.
Until, that is, we forget our umbrella on the way to work when it pisses down. Oh England, we've not forgotten how much you like to fuck us over.
But before the cooler temperatures grace us, we've got to put up with a bit more heat. What's a few more days, eh?
The Met Office said next week will be even hotter, with highs of 33C possible in parts of the south-east on Monday and Tuesday.
But, forecasters told The Sun Online that the hot and dry weather will cool to a 'much fresher' 23C on Wednesday - now we're talking.
Here's to being comfortable in work, getting a good night's sleep and, LADs, you'll get your 'normal penises' back - RESULT. But for those of you who are not happy about this news, book a flight somewhere nice and get your sun-worshipping backsides away from us.
So, how do we know that our suffering could soon be over? Well, forecaster Dean Hall told the Daily Star there will be 'quite a marked change to the feel of things' from the middle of the week as conditions turn 'fresher and more changeable'.
He added that there was 'no real sign of any return of the heat that we have been seeing over the recent days'. Yes Dean.
The news comes amid a sweltering European heatwave which has already claimed three lives, including a middle-aged man who was found lying in the streets in Barcelona.
And it's not just the UK and Spain suffering because eight locations in Portugal have also broken local temperature records.
Red health alerts for extreme heat were issued for more than half the country, with thermometers passing 46C on Saturday.
And Finland has reached such high temperatures that one of its supermarkets in Helsinki's Pohjois-Haaga district has invited 100 lucky customers to sleep in its air-conditioned store.
The hot, dry conditions have led to several Portuguese wildfires and nearly 700 firefighters and 10 water-dumping aircraft were fighting the biggest outbreak, which has scorched 2,470 acres near the town of Monchique in the southern Algarve region.
Featured Image Credit: PA