We've all been there, relaxing in bed after a pleasant evening of intercourse (or masturbation) and suddenly the need to urinate comes fast and furious.
The cons of this are twofold: Firstly, we're far too comfortable and relaxed to get up and go for a piss. Secondly, only God knows the horrors that await us on the other side of the bathroom door. For all we know, a stream of piss could hit us right in the face.
But why do we wee everywhere but the toilet bowl during the post-coital urination?
There's a few reasons.
It's majorly down to your semen. Depending on how long you've waited after sex to go to the toilet, chances are there'll still be some jizz left in your shaft. This, paired with the fact that the urethra (the japs-eye, for those unaware) is sticking together due to the residue left on the tip of your penis.
It's the cum that is holding the lips of your urethra together that predominantly makes you feel like you're controlling a garden hose that's been chewed by a dog.
Also, during sex there is a valve at the base of your bladder that closes itself in order to stop you surprising your partner with some golden rain. Many of you who have tried to pee whilst at full mast, or even with just a 3/4, will know that it's extremely hard and sometimes painful. That's because you're trying your hardest to push past that valve.
After sex or masturbation it takes a while for this valve to open fully and get back to working properly.
Another possibility is that you may have an STD. If it's been a few days since that hazy, drunken one night stand and your piss still resembles the fountains in Trafalgar Square, get to the clinic.
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