Why Boxing Day Is Better Than Christmas Day
So, how was your Christmas Day? Magical? Stressful? Or just forgettable? Who the fuck even cares? The best is yet to come after all.
Some people adore Christmas, others loathe it - either way, we should all be able to agree that Boxing Day is better.
Christmas Day itself is packed to the rafters with stuff. Some of this stuff is really enjoyable and some of this stuff is awful.
On Boxing Day though, the shit stuff has passed and the really enjoyable stuff remains.
You aren't expected to go to church on the 26th. You don't have to do your best impression of liking a present. You don't have to pose for family pictures. You aren't expected to feign interest in your second cousin's passion for horse-riding. You still get to be off work, mostly.
Pervy uncle Piers has left the building, but his bottle of Baileys hasn't.
The hallowed Christmas dinner leftovers are there for you to enjoy, now that the debilitating constipation has passed.
What delightful festive concoction shall you create? Turkey, beef, onion sauce and cauliflower cheese sandwich anyone? Or an onion sauce and cauliflower cheese sandwich for the veggies, perhaps? Or for the vegans, just a cauliflower and onion sandwich I guess. No bread.
Basically, Christmas Day is like getting married, moving house or having a boob job. The day itself is absolutely knackering, but you'll be happier for it afterwards.
On Boxing Day, you're free to reap the rewards. You can slouch around making love in your wedding dress (just me?), slouch around in your new and improved living room or slouch around enjoying your new and improved tits.
If this analogy doesn't really work, I'm sorry. The day after your wedding may be the worst hangover of your life, moving house might take weeks or months and new tits may be sore as fuck for ages, or explode. Truth is, I have never done any of these things - yet.
But I have had my fair share of Christmases. Enough to know they are just a gateway to the most special day of the year.
So let us all be grateful this Boxing Day. Grateful that we get to see the back of pervy uncle Piers for another year. Grateful for the bizarrely beautiful sandwich in one hand and the liqueur-laden coffee in the other. Grateful for our new garments and the fact we get to wear them in the pub, in the company of our mates.
And most of all, grateful for the sheer feast of football that lies ahead.
Merry Boxing Day one and all.
Featured Image Credit: PA