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You Can Get A Timer For People Who Spend Too Long On The Toilet

You Can Get A Timer For People Who Spend Too Long On The Toilet

If you share a one-toilet property with a casual crapper it can be really s**t.

Often you might find yourself banging on the door with a bursting bladder as they hog the porcelain throne and send endless selfies/flick through the financial times (depending on what kind of person you live with).

If you've had enough of it and fancy spending more time with that person, or on your toilet, then you may want to invest in a toilet timer.

Keeping s**ts under five minutes. Credit: Amazon/Katamco
Keeping s**ts under five minutes. Credit: Amazon/Katamco
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The product - which is available on Amazon - does exactly what you would expect and allows five minutes per visit.

A product description reads: "The Toilet Timer is for the poo-crastinator taking their sweet time. This is a sand timer that runs for about five minutes. Help your loved one get back to the people they are trying to avoid.

"We've concocted a special new blend of unicorn magic and gravity that makes the Toilet Timer easy to set. Runs for about five minutes. Just spin to set!"

Of course, if the 'poo-crastinator' in your life has anything about them, then they probably won't obey some sliding sand in a little box, but perhaps by gifting it to them you will at least get your point across; a review on Amazon summarises this point perfectly

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It reads: "This is a cute novelty item, but unfortunately, it doesn't inspire my husband to move things along any faster. I swear, he sits in there and waits for poop to form in his colon."

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That's too bad.

But while the timer is primarily a 'cute novelty item', it could actually have more serious benefits, as the product description points out.

Trump dump timer anyone? Credit: Amazon/Katamco
Trump dump timer anyone? Credit: Amazon/Katamco
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It reads: "The Toilet Timer is more than just a subtle hint for the long-pooper in your family. Did you know that there is actually medical benefit to not lingering in the loo?"

Yes, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you probably shouldn't spend too long on the bog - not even at work.

Now at this point you're probably thinking 'no one on Earth will come between me and my extensive paid poos', but if you don't consider giving up this recreation, then you're pretty much booking yourself a direct ticket to pile city.

Studies have shown if you spend prolonged periods sitting on the loo straining then you increase your chance of developing haemorrhoids. On top of the extended straining, perching on the seat for long periods can also cut off blood flow to the anus and exacerbate your bum grapes.

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So on that note, here's a link to the toilet timer, which is priced at $14.99 (£11.63)

Featured Image Credit: Amazon/Katamco

Topics: Funny, Interesting, Community, Weird

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.