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"There is no other cleaning company service like ours," reads the About Us section on Naked Cleaners Ireland's website. They certainly have a point - Naked Cleaners Ireland, as you may have guessed from the name, is Ireland's first and only fully nude home cleaning service.
Available in all 32 counties of Ireland, the cleaning company aims to provide 'the highest level of service available' - completely in the nip of course. Founded in 2020 by the suspiciously named Hand Brothers, the company is constantly recruiting for new nude cleaners who are willing to carry out a number a mundane household chores for their clients such as dusting, vacuuming, making beds, sweeping and cleaning windows, entirely au naturel.
It may sound absurd, but you could stand to make a pretty penny working as one of Naked Cleaners Ireland's guys or girls. For a fully nude clean, you can supposedly earn €150 an hour - more, apparently, than the average pilot, orthodontist or underwater welder makes according to The Irish Post. Business really must be booming as this appears to be a 200% increase in price since the site launched last year offering a naked clean for just €50 an hour - honestly, the price of naked cleaners these days!
If you're not sure you're willing to go the whole hog, there's also the option to clean topless (€100 an hour) or in lingerie (€75 per hour).
Of course, often two is better than one and Naked Cleaners Ireland have thought of that too, offering a duo service where you can choose two of their cleaners to come by and, er, get the job done faster. It's an interesting proposition though we can't help but feel the only thing more awkward than cleaning someone's gaff completely nude, would be shuffling by another fully nude stranger, eyes to the floor, as you go to grab the Domestos from the kitchen?
There is also a number of 'Party Packages' (up to two packages if you opt for the duo service we guess) which include the option of having one of their naked cleaners work at your birthday party, stag do or hen do, cleaning as they go and serving drinks whilst scantily clad or nude. "Add extra glamour with us, this is something you need to consider if you want an amazing stag or hen do," the Party Packages section explains - is a man holding a tray of prosecco flutes above his own presumably flaccid flute really what we are now defining as 'glamour'?
The service has even gotten the seal of approval from everyone's favourite TV couple Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes who filmed a segment with some of the naked cleaners for their show Do The Right Thing last year!
Before you get any sordid ideas, there are (thankfully) some strict rules involved in availing of the service. First things first, you'll need to provide your own cleaning products which is only fair we think. You'll also have to give your cleaner 24 hours' notice - we're guessing to allow for the necessary preparatory work to be done.
Other do's and don'ts? There is to be strictly no touching, no filming or photographing, no inviting friends over to watch or asking for 'extras', and there can't be any pets around. You absolutely can not contact your cleaner in private however you are more than welcome to chat to them whilst they clean around you - but please, pardon the pun, keep it clean for the love of god!
"Sit back and enjoy watching your Naked Cleaner stretch to reach those hard to reach places, or bend over to clean the dirty spots down below..." This part made us shudder slightly, however if it sounds like it might be right up your street then by all means feel free to peruse the official website and make a booking here.
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