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​Prince Harry Is Getting Married To Meghan Markle And We Can’t Wait For The Stag Do

​Prince Harry Is Getting Married To Meghan Markle And We Can’t Wait For The Stag Do

With the Prince Harry about to be taken off the market, we wildly speculate (chat total bollocks) about his last lash up as a single man.

James Dawson

James Dawson

So, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are getting married.

Sorry, ladies, but that means your dreams of becoming a princess are over (unless you want to wait for Prince George to grow up, but that would be fucking creepy).

Anyway, seeing as we aren't even going to get a day off by the looks of it, you're probably finding it difficult to care.

Meghan Markle
Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle in Suits before Harry put a ring on it. Credit: Suits

What is interesting, though, is that before the big day there will have to be a stag do. But where do you go to make a dick out of yourself with the LADs if you're one of the most famous people on the planet?

Ginger crusader Prince Harry has got previous for this, of course, and we can only assume that fancy dress might be off the table.

Also, let's not forget that Prince William is most likely to be in charge as best man, and he seems about as interesting as doing your tax returns, which we know can also be pretty tough for the Windsor family.

Anyway, we know that the Prince likes a party. Perhaps too much, so they'll probably be trying to keep the details of it top secret.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry

The happy couple before Harry hits Jägerbombs o'clock (we're guessing). Credit PA

One suggestion has already been made. Olympic sprinting legend / mega LAD Usain Bolt told The Sun in September: "He [Harry] knows I want to plan it. I can make things happen in Jamaica. I can get the most beautiful beach closed off for him. I'm going to text him and plant that little seed."

That has got to be better than anything that William would come up with (Jägerbombs in the Windsor branch of Spearmint Rhino, we're predicting).

William's stag do (admittedly arranged by Harry) took place at a country estate in Norfolk so the wildest thing they got up to was shooting (clay pigeons).

He was also 'forced' to wear a hairpiece and a chest wig, according to The Sun. Not fooling anyone there, Wills.

Prince Harry is a bit more of a party animal, so fingers crossed for a weekend in Magaluf, at least one arrest, and some recreational heroin at his bash.

Pizza Burger in Magaluf
Pizza Burger in Magaluf

Harry and Wills' last port of call after a night on the lash in Magaluf? Credit: PA

The guest list will be interesting, too. His future wife has a load of Hollywood pals that could make it along. Obviously, the Lightning Bolt will be well up for it. And then there are Harry's old school mates, who probably have about 50-odd surnames.

However, I suspect that James Hewitt won't be making it - not because of that - because he isn't very well, poor bloke.

Whatever happens, the royals will be keen to keep it under wraps, but - like Wills' stag - hopefully we'll get the details one day and they won't just be about drinking port, wearing wigs, and badgering servants.

Words: Tom Wood

Featured Image Credit: PA

Topics: prince william, Funny, Royal Family, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle