Employees from some of the UK's biggest supermarkets have opened up about their true feelings towards customers who come into their supermarkets.
As you might imagine, the results don't reflect too kindly on customers.
Hey, doing the weekly big shop is annoying enough as it is. It must be something akin to torture to deal with so many people each day, every one of them trying to get their own way all the time so that they can load the car and f*** off.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of the anonymous shop workers' complaints directly relate to customers, but it isn't all bad - apparently those fleeces are really warm and comfy.
They've been looking after us all during the pandemic, making sure that we can get hold of the stuff that we need - including toilet roll - while enduring a whole raft of ever-changing and often nebulous regulations.
All this while getting people to wear masks, and trying to keep themselves safe and sane at the same time.
Let's cut them some slack, and allow them a moment to vent sometimes.
Before the pandemic hit, Kent Live asked the workers to tell us what they really think.
One complaint related directly to people asking where items can be found around the store, when no human being could reasonably be expected to know exactly where everything is.
However, they're duty-bound to take you to the items anyway.
They said: "We have to take you to the thing you're looking for.
"I don't want to accompany you to the right aisle to help find the exact item you're looking for, but I have to.
"Sometimes I don't even know where things are - especially the obscure stuff."
Next up, the customers who try to get things for free.
A shop worker explained: "No, we cannot give you things for free.
"Even if it doesn't scan.
"We can't give you our discount either so stop asking."
Another worker added: "The 5p charge for a carrier bag is definitely not my fault
"Rolling your eyes when a customer blames Tesco for the 5p plastic bag charge - I'm all for saving the planet, but don't take it out on the messenger."
We all like a bargain, right? But the crowd of customers swarming around the person with the reduction gun is another common complaint.
"The frustration of people gathering around you as you knock 30p off a pack of mince," they said.
"Those yellow stickers are coming out, and it's like shoppers can smell them a mile off."
Another common complaint is the small talk at tills.
One employee weighed in: "Never ask me if my shift is over soon.
"If my shift was over soon I'd be smiling.
"No, it's not.
"In fact, you just saw me arrive at the till and tell the person on there that it's shift swap time.
"Why would I say that if it wasn't that I had just started? I'm going to be here for another eight hours, you cretin."
Then, there's the kids.
They explained: "Shall I tell off your child for you?
"Oh no, poor little Olivia wasn't allowed to have the Peppa Pig chocolate lolly.
"Thankfully, Olivia has a plan. She's going to scream and cry for an hour until you give in and almost ram that lolly up her nose."
"If you don't do it, I will. Shut up, Olivia."
Now, here's one we can all get behind. The '10 items or less' line is a place for - you've guessed it - people buying 10 items or f***ing less.
Well, OK - 10 items or fewer. Get your grammar together, supermarkets.
The employee said: "We know you know what 10 items or less means.
"No it's not okay for you to bring your entire monthly shop through my basket-only till, the sign is there for a reason, people. You aren't special."
So, despite them wanting to kill us all - and sometimes imagining that customers explode as a form of therapy, apparently - they've been there for us throughout the pandemic, making sure that the shelves are stacked and that we can get the essentials - and the booze - that has helped us all get through this pandemic.
Next time you're in the supermarket, cut them some slack, just grab your s***, buy it quietly, and get out.
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