TV Presenter Says He Dipped His Penis In Boris Johnson's Pint
I don't have one myself, but I imagine if you are the proud owner of a penis, one of the last things you'd think to do with it is dip it in someone's cold pint?
I must be wrong though, because that's exactly what Car SOS presenter Fuzz Townshend decided to do, and to Boris Johnson's pint, no less.
Fuzz, 54, said he met Johnson through a friend in a pub. Johnson - ex-foreign secretary, big Brexit fan and resident class clown - apparently walked in and Fuzz saw the 'opportunity of a lifetime'.
Speaking in a Q&A with co-host Tim Shaw, Fuzz said: "He arrived as it was my round so I said 'Would you like a drink?'
"I was drinking a pint of real ale and he said 'What's that like?' I said it was pretty good so he said 'I'll have one of those.'"
Fuzz then claimed that when he went to the bar, after his friend's pints had been pulled, the barrel had to be changed for Boris', so he popped to the loo with the intention of picking it up on the way back.
So far, so normal. Then it descends.
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He continued: "I have a politician here, I'm gonna do something.
"I dipped my knob in Boris Johnson's pint and then topped it up with mine."
Tim then cracked up at the story, as Fuzz added: "I went out, handed him his pint and drank a little bit of mine."
Personally, I think what bothers me more than the actual act of penis-dipping is the fact that it was post-piss.
Boris went viral a few months back after his attempt at speaking French just really confused everyone - with some thinking the clip was actually a joke.
When filming for the BBC's Inside the Foreign Office, Johnson could be seen speaking to Caroline Wilson (Europe Director at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office) about a speech he was about to give in Paris. Concerned that the speech was 'too boring', he said it 'needs more gags', to which Wilson replied that she'd look at it.
She then asked him: "Are you really going to do the whole raft of foreign policy issues in French?"
And then it began. Boris stumbled over his words, butchering the beautiful French language more and more with each one of them.
Sensing that it was not going too well, Wilson suggested: "It might be best just to speak to the headlines in French."
But Johnson wasn't having that, telling her: "They love it when I talk French."
I suppose at least he tried.
Featured Image Credit: PA