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It's been a funny old year, hasn't it? By funny, I of course mean confusing, bizarre, tedious and terrifying. The rules we have lived under used to be the stuff of dystopian fantasies, and sometimes we can't quite believe what we're hearing. In tackling the 'unprecedented' challenges posed by the pandemic, the government has continually announced new campaigns, restrictions, goals and U-turns. But what if all the confusion and false hope we have experienced was in fact Ant and Dec's doing? It would certainly answer a lot of questions - and provide us with some much-needed amusement in the meantime.
This is essentially what the rule will actually be come Step Two of the roadmap out of lockdown, which will begin no earlier than 12 April. Hospitality will reopen but only outdoors; as such, the pubs will be open, but you won't be allowed inside.
This was just some kind of sick joke, wasn't it? Thankfully there's none of that on the roadmap. Curfews and substantial meals are also a thing of the past.
By Step 3, which will begin no sooner than 17 May, the government hopes to allow up to 10,000 fans back into large stadiums... Or are Anthony and Declan just having us on?
Bojo has said the easing of lockdown will be gradual but 'irreversible'. He also said last March that we could 'send coronavirus packing' in 12 weeks, so it seems people are taking this with a pinch of salt.
Don't even go there.
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