The Real James Milner Joins Twitter, Drops The Most Boring First Tweet Ever
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It's the moment everyone has been waiting for. It might have been tough at times, but our patience has finally paid off. Former England footballer James Milner has just joined Twitter. Amazing, right?
But, wait, it gets much better. Milner might have just posted the single most boring and yet at the same time absolutely-fricking-superb first tweet of all time.
#TBT to yesterday.... when I wasn't on Twitter! :wave: pic.twitter.com/TJy4RxHZJx
- James Milner (@JamesMilner) March 22, 2018
To those who are confused, there is an account which claims to be Milner, a footballer who's made his career as the ultimate utility man and thereby has a reputation for being a bit, well, bland.
It may not surprise you to know that the account is called Boring James Milner.
For years, Boring James Milner has posted some of the dullest content imaginable, regaling its more than 500k followers with the news that 'James' is having a cup of tea, walking the dog in the park or scratching an itch on his foot.
I just said to Jurgen that after that performance we should reject all offers for Mo Salah this Summer. He said thanks for that great advice, James. I said thanks, anytime.
- Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) March 17, 2018
The weather this morning calls for an extra strong cup of tea so I'll probably leave the bag in for around 10-15 seconds longer than usual. #StormEmma
- Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) March 1, 2018
Firmino just said to me he thinks we're definitely through. I said That's all well and good Roberto, but the tie's not over yet. He said But we're 5-0 up James. I said We could lose 6-0 in the second leg.
- Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) February 14, 2018
This left us all desperate to have the real Milner on social media, and yet, Milner's first tweet is just as dull as his piss-taking counterpart.
In his first ever foray on Twitter, the Liverpool midfielder posted a picture of himself ironing his Nike tops in what looks like the world's most boring room. Top content, James.
The sheer irony of the situation has created a frenzy over Twitter as fans flocked to praise Milner for what may have been the most self-aware first tweet ever.
"And the award for 'Best first tweet ever' goes to..." one person replied.
"What a first tweet James, you're not boring after all!" another added.
"Boring James Milner has just deactivated. 'My work here is done'," a third chimed in.
Whether he meant to crack a joke about himself or not, it looks like the real James Milner's Twitter will be worth keeping an eye on.
He still won't be funnier than Neville Southall, though.