There's A 'Knife-Wielding' Gangster Crab But Let's Not All Panic

You may have seen a video last week of a wily crustacean getting aggy with a knife. You may have even laughed, or chortled, at the human-like way the crab was gripping the knife and appearing to wield it at its would-be attacker.

But like most viral videos, the truth behind it casts a more disturbing light not on the animal therein, but on the dickhead behind the camera.

That's because crabs don't wield knives (shocker) and if one has been filmed doing so, it's almost certainly a set-up.

Speaking to IFL Science, Alaska-based marine scientist Molly Zaleski said: "I would bet with 99 percent certainty somebody put that knife in the crab's claws to make a funny video."

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She continued: "It's definitely not normal crab behaviour to use knives as tools or to use knives as defence against humans. Just because the crab is able to smoothly switch the knife between pincers doesn't mean is a knife-ninja, either."

Some who watched the video seemed to think the crab's sudden pincer-knife switcharoo was a sign of it mimicking human behaviour.

"The crab is happening to grab the knife opportunistically at the handle," said Zaleski.

"Toward the end of the video, you'll notice it's starting to grab at the blade, which is too thin. It's not because the crab knows how to use a knife, it's because the width of the handle is more conducive to its claw grab than the width of the blade."

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Watching the video, it becomes quite obvious that the crab is in deep distress. Moreover, look at what's in front of the crab. It's a massive human hand wielding a massive human knife. Is that not an alarm bell, if ever there was one?

Imagine if someone came up to you holding a butcher's knife in one hand and an iPhone in the other, and begin filming while prodding and poking you relentlessly. If the crab had actually known how to use a knife, it would almost certainly have shanked its attacker into the middle of next week, prank or no.

Some people seem to think it's funny to put animals in uncomfortable situations. The simple fact is that it's not.

Topics: Animal Cruelty, Interesting, Fail, Animal Welfare, Animals

Ronan O'Shea

Ronan J O'Shea is a freelance journalist from London who has written for titles including LADbible, Headspace, The Independent, National Geographic Traveller and New York Post. Contact him at [email protected].