A Guy Had To Get A Chopstick Removed From His Penis After Inserting It While Blind Drunk
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People say that their body is a temple and while most of the time that's utter bollocks, there are a few places that most of us try to keep safe and healthy.
The majority of blokes would agree that the dick and balls is a sacred location. Sure, there are some people who get off on having those bits kicked or slapped, but a lot of guys like the genitals to avoid pain at all costs.
So you can imagine how much people would cringe at the idea of this guy shoving a 10-centimetre chopstick up his dick because he was 'blind drunk'.
The 42-year-old was in Vietnam's southern Dong Nai Province when he stuck it up there but unsurprisingly developed pain in his penis. Geez, I wonder why. So he when to a hospital and they managed to remove it without the patient having to undergo surgery.
Incredibly, the bloke is reported to have had a mate insert it for him while they were boozing.
While you might think this is ridiculous, it's certainly not the first-time doctors have had to be called in to help remove something from someone's penis.
A man in his 60s stuck a metre-long cable up his urethra because he had an itch that he needed to scratch. I shit you not, he thought that was the best way to cure said itch.
According to the Daily Mail, once the cable was firmly up his dick, the end of it managed to get tied into a knot in his bladder and when he tried to pull it out, it hurt like a motherfucker. He was rushed to Dalian Hospital in China late last month for treatment.
Thankfully, the cable guy wasn't completely stupid, as he washed the utensil under water before sticking it up there.
So it was as sterilised as much as he thought was necessary.
And remember how I said at the start that there are some people who get off on getting kicked in the nuts? Well, there's also a section of people who get sexually turned on by sticking things up your urethra.
It's called 'urethral sounding' and people who want a Prince Albert have to get it in order to stretch the urethra.
But naturally, this type of arousal can come with significant risks and people who aren't too careful can inflame their urethra, tear the wall lining or get a UTI.
Sounds great fun, eh? OUCH.