A dad had to have part of his penis removed after suffering from a painful, three-day erection - remarkably though, the story has a happy ending. That's right.
But before that happy ending, let's dive right into the long, agonising bit that preceded it.
James Mudd's woes all began before Christmas 2015 when he had a motorbike accident. The crash left the dad-of-four, from Canning Town, London, with post-traumatic stress disorder.
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He was prescribed anti-depressants; however, doctors believed these meds caused his penis problems.
The 38-year-old said: "I began getting erections for four, five, six hours. It was always there. It stopped being fun, it was hurting."
Mr Mudd had an operation to drain it, but the hard-on only came back stronger than ever and he ended up having a boner that didn't go for three days.
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He said: "I called the NHS helpline, as time was ticking on. They said go and get in a freezing cold bath, or run up and down some steps, to get some blood into your thighs and calves.
"I took aspirin and Ibuprofen to thin my blood but nothing worked. I'm at a stage where I can't even walk, so I have to call an ambulance.
"I was angry, I was upset, I was scared. I cannot explain the pain of it, it was like it was going to explode."
Doctors managed to drain his penis after a seven-and-a-half op, but he was told he would need further surgery to fix it for good. Then a week before the operation, in April 2018, his long term girlfriend left him.
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Mr Mudd said: "Talk about a double kick in the nuts. We had been together for five years, we were willing to go forward, we were going to get engaged.
"I'm glad it happened really because it showed what sort of person she was.
"When the tough got going, she got going. She was the only person I had spoken to, so come to the day of the operation I've got no one. I was too embarrassed to tell my family and friends.
"I had to face it on my own. I came out of the operation not knowing if it was successful - it was a really stressful time."
Astonishingly, after losing his girlfriend and a good chunk of his member, Mr Mudd has described the whole ordeal as a 'blessing in disguise'. Now the tables have been turned completely, with Mr Mudd activating his erection with a little pump and a saline sack. Better still, his urethra has been left intact and he can ejaculate just fine - so that's the happy ending to the tale right there.
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He said: "I'm over the moon with it. It has humbled me a lot.
"I was walking like John Wayne. I was terrified it wasn't going to be alright. But it's healed and looks completely natural.
"It is absolutely brilliant. It's up to you when you want to stop."
The dream.
Featured Image Credit: Triangle News