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People Are Nominating UK Landmarks To Fight Angel Of The North If It Came To Life

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People Are Nominating UK Landmarks To Fight Angel Of The North If It Came To Life

If you need a whimsical story to take you away from the bizarre and frankly terrifying state of world news just now, how about a hypothetical internet battle between the UK's landmarks?

Brace yourself for this, because folks online have been choosing their fighter from the statues of Britain on the off-chance that the Angel of the North ever came to life and started running amok.

Seriously, where do people come up with these things?

Anyway, here's the initial question that triggered the whole thing. It was conceived - as so many strange and unusual goings on are these days - on the darkened corners of Reddit.

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Look at that reach. Credit: PA
Look at that reach. Credit: PA

The poster posited: "If the Angel of the North came alive and started destroying the land, which other iconic British structure would you nominate to fight it?

"It'd make a formidable opponent to any adversary, and of course, it can fly."

I suppose, the first question is - would it make a formidable opponent?

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Sure it can fly, but that's about it. The thing has no arms, and is presumably bolted heavily to the floor near the A1 at Gateshead. How dangerous could it be?

Would you rather fight one Angel of the North or 100 Crosby Beach statues? Credit: PA
Would you rather fight one Angel of the North or 100 Crosby Beach statues? Credit: PA

Anyway, let's assume that it is imbued with a malevolent sentience and as dangerous as the original poster suggests.

Who can take down this monolithic motorway distraction?

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Suggestions ranged from the political to the downright ridiculous. That's exactly what we're looking for here.

One person offered: "Angel vs Thatcher - the ultimate pay per view event! On the undercard: a cardboard cut-out of Boris Johnson vs Godzilla."

'Now look here, you metallic Northern b*****d'. Credit: PA
'Now look here, you metallic Northern b*****d'. Credit: PA

In the blue corner, we've got the statue of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Now, there are two possibilities here, because there's one in the Houses of Parliament, and one due to be unveiled in her home town of Grantham.

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Either one is giving up a significant amount of size and reach to the Angel. However, Maggie's famously robust nature and - in the interest of holding my tongue - uncompromising stance could be the difference.

Another suggestion was a bit more vague. They suggested: "That stone guy drawn on the hill with the big penis. Guys got a club and a giant schlong, she wouldn't stand a chance."

The Cerne Abbas Giant would certainly stand a chance. Credit: PA
The Cerne Abbas Giant would certainly stand a chance. Credit: PA

Now, this is a proper shout.

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The Cerne Abbas Giant is a huge figure carved out of chalk in a hillside in Dorset, and - as the user so eloquently points out - has a massive penis and an even larger club.

However, the lack of armour, or a third dimension, could once again swing the pendulum towards the Northerner.

Further shouts came in for things as vague as the Bulford Kiwi - no, me neither - and 'that giant wicker man near the Morrisons depot on the M5'.

Either way, let's give thanks that this is all hypothetical, but - in this wretched timeline - would you really rule out full scale warfare between Britain's landmarks as a possibility in 2021?

Featured Image Credit: PA

Topics: UK News, Internet, Funny, Reddit, Weird

Tom Wood
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