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It's getting to that time of year when TV channels will soon be dominated by festive films. Sitting in the top five of all of our lists for the best Crimbo films is Home Alone, which sits behind Die Hard as an obvious number one.
20th Century Fox
We have a lot of time for Home Alone because it most likely made all of our Christmases when we were kids. As we grow up, though, you start to question bits of it.
For example, obviously, how did an eight-year-old kid manage to outwit two fully-grown men? And, how the fuck did Peter and Kate McCallister afford A) Such a huge house, B) The electricity bill to run all those massive Christmas lights, and C) To go on a nine-person festive vacation to Paris?
The first thing that springs to mind is that they're the owners of a McCallister drug empire which will eventually be inherited by Buzz. Kevin being left at home was actually a test to see if he could hack the danger that comes with drug dealing. But that is not the case.
Credit: 20th Century Fox
Certain online theories suggest that Peter is actually a criminal of sorts, but not necessarily in the drugs trade.
For example, when Harry, the burglar who is disguised as a policeman, first visits the McCallister home before the family leave for Paris, Peter is very defensive as to why officers will be patrolling the area. He instantly asks: "Am I in some kind of trouble officer?"
Furthermore, when the spotty adolescent pizza delivery guy takes Kevin's order to the house, he very nearly defecates over the snowy path because he thinks the clip Kevin plays from Angels with Filthy Souls is genuine and he's about to have his guts pumped full of lead.
Credit: 20th Century Fox
In the novel, which was released in 1990 alongside the film, Peter is depicted as a 'business man', but that could be construed as anything.
Walter White considered himself a 'business man', so by that logic the father of the McCallister clan could be the head of a 1990s Chicago methamphetamine operation.
In fairness to the creators of Home Alone, I respect them for sheltering the true profession of Peter and Kate, as it's always been apparent that snitches get stitches.
Chances are that he's just a boring bloke who works some boring ass job which just happens to pay a decent amount of cash so he can live that ever-popular-yet-ever-boring 'American dream'.
Featured Image Credit: 20th Century Fox
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