I haven't written anything about Jeremy Kyle in so long I actually started to miss the guy. Then I watched the video from the episode I'm writing about and realised I hadn't actually missed anything to do with Jezza at all.
The show has somehow managed to plunge to yet another new depth after a woman admitted to sniffing her boyfriend's cock and balls to make sure he wasn't cheating.
I mean, what more is there to say about The Jeremy Kyle Show? Really? I consider myself a well-read man and yet I am almost entirely out of adjectives to describe it.
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Anyway, self-styled 'Love God' Hoyt (superb fucking name) was making his THIRD appearance on The Jeremy Kyle Show, this time because his girlfriend Chloe wanted to know whether he was cheating on her.
Given she met the guy following his previous Jezza appearances for shagging loads of women and cheating on another girlfriend, you'd have thought Chloe could work it out for herself.
But she couldn't. And so we're left with this clip from the show of Chloe admitting she sniffed his willy to check if he was cheating...
Cameron's Britain, huh? Nah, I joke, but this is a complete and utter mess.
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I also always love it when people argue with the lie detector test. You've been proved wrong by science bro, give it up.
Oh, and for those few of you who care, Chloe and Hoyt have remained together despite the drama and are looking forward to the future - I despair.
The only good that has come from this is that Jezza has a new method for testing whether these blokes on his show are cheating or not.
Words by George Pavlou
Featured Image Credit:Topics: Jeremy Kyle