In 84 years' time, when a cryogenically preserved Jimmy Carr hosts the Big Fat Quiz of the Century, everyone will look back on 2016 as a year best forgotten. It will be seen as the runt in an otherwise fit and healthy litter of puppies.
Ah, where to begin in an assessment of this annum in which we currently reside? Allow me to list just a few words in order to reinforce what a monumental shit-storm it has been to date: Bowie, Prince, Toblerone, Harambe, Big Sam.
It is, then, a huge relief when something arrives to alleviate the pain that 2016 has caused. It is a beacon of light momentarily poking through an otherwise bleak landscape of despair. These moments may have been few and far between, but that causes even more reason to savour them. And, for Ken Bone and Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen, now see The Grand Tour as your much-needed release from the gloom.
It's been 16 months since it was announced that Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May would return with a new series on Amazon Prime and, at last, it's here. Hooray! And, with episode one now available, here are some of the key things we know before a first glance at this eagerly-awaited series...
It Starts In The US
Dry Rabbit Lake, California, is the setting for the opening instalment of The Grand Tour; with the lads joined in a tent by hundreds of Americans, high on cars and likely chanting 'YOO ES AY' at even the slightest glance of a Mustang or Chevy. Which makes a change from the Middle-Englanders politely applauding Clarkson's dad jokes in The-Show-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named where his star was secured.
It's Like Bloody Mad Max
It's been claimed that the opening scene for episode one is the most expensive ever made for the small screen, coming in at a pretty insane £2.5 million. Clarkson himself has compared it to something from Mad Max which, if true, fills me with the tingles of excitement usually reserved for a very different type of film. You'll, of course, have to see the first episode of The Grand Tour to understand how they were able to spunk so much dosh in one go.
May Keeps Getting Badly Injured
Captain Slow was twice hospitalised on The Grand Tour; once with a broken arm and then after hitting his head on a rock. And, while he may hope these injuries were actually attributed to the mega-bucks, Michael Bay-esque shoot, at least one of them was far more simply explained. May broke his arm while shooting in California after he fell arse over tit stumbling out of a boozer. That actually makes us warm to these lads even more - because they absolutely love the sesh, even while they're meant to be working.
But Filming Isn't Even Finished Yet...
Working on The Grand Tour looks like a pretty sick job but, jeez, is it long. As the first episode is released for public consumption, Clarkson, Hammond and May still have work to do - with yet more to take place in Nashville, Dubai and...erm...Loch Ness.
...Because They Chose To Shoot in 44 Countries
I don't know about you, but I couldn't even name 44 countries. But, then again, I expect neither can Donald Trump - yet he just become president of one! Mad, that. Anyway, not only will The Grand Tour be providing all sorts of petrol-fuelled entertainment, but it will also offer a geography lesson of sorts thanks to the impressive globe-trotting packed into the series. You never know, it might come in handy in a pub quiz or offer inspiration to widen your Tinder search.
Topics: richard hammond, james may, Grand Tour, Jeremy Clarkson