Shit the bed. Nope, if you're in bed and you're thinking of watching this trailer from zombie movie Here Alone, there is a strong chance that you will not be able to hold your bowels and you bed could well have excrement all over.
I did warn you.
Ok, here we go...
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Credit: Easy Open Productions
What's that smell?
Here Alone has been on our radar for a long time now - we saw the first trailer at The Tribeca Film Festival last year, and now it's finally set for release.
It's in the Walking Dead tradition where you have to be just as wary of the other survivors as you do the zombies. It's more of a psychological thriller - the Z-word is never even mentioned in the film!
But it's still a zombie film; a post-apocalyptic drama with a horror skin.
It's eerie and bleak, with Ann running around in flannel covered in mud with a shotgun in the woods with a mask over her mouth.
Credit: Easy Open Productions
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Told to avoid human interaction because of the highly contagious disease, she spends her days hiding in the upstate New York woods where her husband trained her how to survive in a wood in happier times. Handy, that.
Ann has spent a year surviving in the wilderness by covering herself in mud and raiding people's homes looking for food, after her husband and baby presumably died in the mysterious epidemic that's turned people into zombies. Then she finally comes across some other survivors - a man and his teenage daughter. Rescuing the sick man, she takes them into her makeshift home... but are they all that they seem?
Ann, played by Lucy Walters. Credit: Easy Open Productions
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I'm pretty sure that they're not.
Coming out on March 31st, the movie is a must-watch we reckon.
How to survive a zombie apocalypse
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What should you do in the event of a zombie infestation in the UK?
Well Prof Lewis Dartnell at the University of Kent, a UK Space Agency research fellow and, of course, a zombie expert, has some tips for us. What makes a zombie expert? Is it someone who managed to sit through both World War Z and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? Because that might make you just a fool. I certainly don't know why I watched the latter.
He says you should pack a survival bag, and this should contain 'A FIRE STARTING KIT, WATER BOTTLE, SMALL KNIFE, ROPE AND FOOD'.
So, a lighter, a water bottle, a pocket knife, rope and something to eat. Ok, thank you expert. I think I'll watch Here Alone and see if they've got any better tips on how to survive. I don't think "bring some food" is really going to cut it when you're being chased by creatures that want to eat you.
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Words Laura Hamilton
Featured Image Credit: Easy Open Productions