There are a lot of excuses that come with not wanting to work, with being sick probably being at the forefront. A family emergency is also good, as is death - but you'd have to be quite a sick bastard to pretend that a family member has died just so you can have a bit of an extra lie in.
One woman, however, who recently appeared on ITV's The Jeremy Kyle Show was brutally honest when it came to her reasons for not working. And by brutally honest, I mean outright ridiculous.
Michelle, who was in the middle of an issue titled 'Accept I am with your daughter and I don't want to sleep with you!', claimed that she is on benefits and can't work because her dog needs walking.
Credit: ITV
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As of 2015, there was an estimation of 8.5 million dogs that were being kept as pets in the UK. If everyone applied the same logic as Michelle, that'd mean that somewhere between 8-8.5 million people would be unemployed, with their only activity being walking their dogs.
Firstly, she tried to question whether her daughter's boyfriend had a job, which was fucking stupid, because she didn't have one herself. Jezza then asked: "why don't you go to work?" She replied: "Because I've got a dog to look after."
Jeremy, with his razor sharp wit, then labelled the whole thing 'Dog Seekers Allowance' - and that's as good as daytime television gets, folks.
To add insult to injury, Jezza asked his studio audience if they'd stand if they owned a dog. When all the dog owners were stood, he then asked any of them who don't work specifically because of their dog to sit. No one sat.
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Once again, The Jeremy Kyle Show somehow manages to surprise us all by finding the cream of the crop in Britain. If anything, it's remarkable - almost admirable.
Featured image credit: ITV
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