If you've ever been fortunate enough to have achieved something great in your life you've probably been asked to share that story with people many times before. It's a great feeling when people hang on to every word you say. For a little while probably anyway. If people are still asking to hear that story after 20 years though you are almost certainly tired of telling it. Almost like that your life is now defined by that one story.
Well imagine that story is 'Livin' On A Prayer' and you are Jon Bon Jovi and all you're trying to do is an attend a wedding in 2016. Attending a wedding is a risky activity for Jon because his 1986 smash has been played at approximately every wedding since 1986.
Still, you can't avoid weddings forever, although I've done a pretty decent job of it because they are truly awful occasions where I am reminded of my unmistakable loneliness. I also have to engage in hours of small talk with members of my super-extended family who I can't even remember the names of.
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'Yes I've finished university now, no I still don't have a proper job. No I won't be settling down soon to start a family I have killed two cacti in the past year I do not think I'm ready for that responsibility.'
These are not issues for Jon Bon Jovi, he doesn't look like the type to murder desert plants. The immediate issue for him is that if he is at a wedding then he is the prime candidate for singing his own song, 1986's smash 'Livin' On A Prayer'. Jon Bon Jovi is not a fan of this as you can tell in this video. Look closely and you can see the light in his eyes slowly dying as he contemplates if all the women he has banged was worth the misery that this song has brought him.
Poor Jon. Anyway, 'Wanted Dead Or Alive' and 'You Give Love A Bad Name' are much better songs to ask Jon Bon Jovi to sing if he's at your actual wedding. I hope the couple who tied the knot at this ceremony in Miami have divorced already for making such a basic error.
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Words by Matthew Cooper