The Majority Of The UK And All England Fans Are Hungover Today
Many thought it was all over for the Three Lions when they reached the penalty stage last night - given the statistic that England haven't won a shootout since 1990.
And we all have 24-year-old Jordan Pickford to thank - he saved an absolute screamer as Colombia's Mateus Uribe smashed a volley from at least 30 yards which seemed destined for the top corner. England's flying superhero then saved Colombia's final penalty in incredible scenes.
Anyway, this isn't about the match anymore - that's been and gone (and it's coming home too, btw). No, this is about you and how you're feeling today. Going to work. On the train, the bus, maybe in the car.
Whether you're popping paracetamol, necking back as much H2O as possible or grabbing a Maccies breakfast as you try and compose yourself for the day ahead - today is going to be a struggle. Let. Me. Tell. You.
And it seems you're not alone because William Hill estimated that during the group stages 15 million people enjoyed a pint. Maybe it's best to have that 'stomach bug' you've managed to dodge until now?
Or could you have picked up the summer cold that's been going around the office? Carol was sneezing into the fan all day yesterday, it would have spread everywhere. We're just trying to help a brother out here.
Whatever you do, don't post openly about it for your boss to see - like many others have done.
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Because we're loyal LADs we're not disclosing any names (you're welcome).
Another victim to the celebrations said: "A lot of hungover people this morning and it's only the last 16. At this rate, If England win, we will have to hold a minutes silence for the amount people we will lose the day after the final". Got a point, mate.
Another added: "The train is empty, I know half of my team are hungover, the nation has a sense of jubilation over it. Could it really, just maybe be coming home?" Yes, my friend, yes it is.
And a third gave everyone's tricks away: "Warning to all managers today. You will receive calls from staff saying they can't come in. If they suggest "it's coming out both ends" then that's too much information and they are probably just hungover following the #England game. #RingingInSick"
We say everyone was hungover but not this lucky guy: "What a glorious day! Sun is shining, #England win on penalties and go through to the QF and incredibly I'm not hungover! #ItsComingHome #WorldCup2018".
No one likes a show off. Well, apart from Jordan Pickford - you keep showing off, LAD.
Featured Image Credit: PA