Virtual Reality Porn Is Ridiculously Realistic

It's the year 2016, the government are trying to tell us that we should only drink a maximum of seven pints a week, Kim Kardashian still doesn't know her arse hole from her ear hole and DJ Khaled has convinced himself that saying 'bless up' whilst watering plants will inspire the masses. What possible direction could the next 365 days go in? Well my friends, I'm here to tell you that there is a glimmer of hope that could mean an upwards climb for 2016, as virtual reality porn has become a thing.

Basically, if like me, by the end of the night you find yourself walking home hand in hand with a dodgy kebab rather than a girl, it means you can slip into a virtual world and enjoy what you're actually missing out on. It will lead you to sit and weep in a deep hole of self pity at the realisation that a virtual girl is the only action you can get. But hey, life goes on.

This greatness is brought to you by Naughty America, which is the porn production company who bring us videos like a stepmom getting it on with their stepson, or giving us false hope by showing teachers getting down with their students. Or so I'm told. I've never really checked.

It will help you get a glimpse into what it's like to have a threesome and apparently 'experience exercise in a whole new way', which is cool, I guess.

Even though this does seem like a breakthrough for pornography and lonely men across the world, it does seem incredibly awkward. Like, I don't even know how to act when a real girl is there, how am I supposed to act when a non- existent girl is feeling me up? It'd be a weird experience and a whole new low for me after I've disappointed a virtual being.

It looks uncomfortable for everyone. I think I'd rather watch porn with one of my friends, to be honest.

Nevertheless, I'd still like to try it.

Words by: Mark McGowan