Love might be blind, but with the way this married couple tore each other apart on TV, you would hope it is deaf too.
Credit: Comedy Central
On the surface, Harriet Kemsley and Bobby Mair look like a normal husband and wife who love each other dearly.
But put them on Comedy Central's epic new show Roast Battle and the gloves come off - with the ugliest of results.
The pair lay in to each other so brutally that we can't decide if they're the strongest married couple in the world or the weakest.
After all, not every man would be so forgiving with his better half branding his mother a 'dead prostitute'.
Innocent-looking Harriet starts off by telling her bemused husband: "Marrying you was the biggest mistake I have ever made...since going on a first date with you.
"My parents were happier when I was diagnosed with Chlamydia than when you proposed."
And then the real stinger.
"Some people say men should marry their mother, but I don't think that's true because I'm not a dead prostitute," she spits.
Do you want some cream for that burn, Bobby?
But Canadian funnyman Bobby, who has appeared on shows including 8 Out Of 10 Cats and Never Mind The Buzzcocks, was not to be outdone.
He hits back: "Before I get started, there is something I have to tell you and I've waited until now to do it.
"But don't worry, whenever I want to fuck a man, I'll just look at your hairy arsehole."
We think Harriet just about edges that battle and she shows no signs of easing up on her beleaguered hubby in the next round.
She fumes: "You tried to cheat on me with prostitutes, but they drugged and robbed you.
"You literally couldn't get sex if you paid for it."
He responds with: "I proposed to you on Christmas Eve which you thought was really romantic.
"It wasn't. I did it so that way when we do divorce, I've ruined Christmas for you."
Not to be outdone, Harriet moves in with her final body blow.
"Bobby, you were put up for adoption at birth, which makes one thing clear - that your mother has better intuition than I do.
"You're the only person I've ever met that looks adopted."
We don't know about you, but we think that's a pretty brutal row as far as married couple rows go.
But don't worry too much - this is just Bobby and Harriet's thing.
In fact, they've made a pretty successful comedy career out of slagging each other off in front of large audiences.
The pair starred in their very own show, Bobby and Harriet Get Married, last year.
And their fledgling marriage provides plenty of hilarious material for their individual stand-up shows.
They appear in the all-new Roast Battle, fronted by Jimmy Carr, Russell Brand and Katherine Ryan. It kicks off tonight on Comedy Central at 10pm.
Words by Sean-Paul DoranFeatured Image Credit: Comedy Central