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It's all over, folks. This gorgeous, hot sunny weather we've been having isn't quite as wonderful and innocent as it seems.
It is, in fact, the precursor to Armageddon, to the apocalypse, to the fiery furnaces of Hell opening up and swallowing us all and life as we know it ending once and for all.
OK, well maybe not quite, but as this heatwave reaches all-time record levels, there are lightning strike and travel warnings all across the UK as temperatures in some parts reach 37 degrees Celsius - they're calling it 'Furnace Friday'.
Every single train at York station was either delayed or cancelled earlier today after lightning struck a signal box, while the Eurotunnel is also experiencing delays because air conditioning units are failing on the trains.
Sure, you might think. That all sounds mildly inconvenient, but it's hardly the end of days now, is it? Well, think again.
There's not only a Blood Moon tonight - caused by the longest total lunar eclipse Earth will see this century as it passes between the sun and the moon for 103 minutes - but Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and the International Space Station will all be visible because the sky is falling in.
A yellow severe weather warning for thunderstorms has been issued in Northern Ireland, and at least one man and a teenager have been found dead after going swimming in the extreme heat and getting into difficulties.
Not only that, but six rivers in the UK - the Derwent in Cumbria, the Eamont in Cumbria, the Lune in Cumbria and Lancashire, the South Tyne in Northumberland, the lower reaches of the Great Ouse in Cambridgeshire and Norfolk and the Torridge in Devon - are running exceedingly low.
So it looks like we're going to have to start stockpiling water as well, in addition to the government's warning that Brexit may well lead to a shortage of food.
Which means that we're all doomed - that it's the end of the world as we know it (and we don't feel particularly fine about it). Or maybe it's just a temporary glitch in the weather matrix and everything will be back to normal very, very soon.
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