A petrol station manager had a bone(r) to pick with a lusty litterbug who abandoned her eight-inch sex toy on the forecourt - so posted it back to her in clear packaging.
Duncan Edwards was stunned when a cleaner discovered the 'battered' strap-on lying discarded in a box next to the vacuum cleaners at a petrol station near Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, on Saturday morning.
Donning a pair of heavy-duty diesel gloves (because safety first), Duncan carried the dildo to his office for safekeeping and discovered an address label on its packaging for a woman living in Manchester.
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Feeling the onus was on him to reunite the customer with her lost property, Duncan posted it back to her in shrink-wrap packaging with a note that read 'strap on, handle with care!' You couldn't have made it any clearer, Duncan.
The dad-of-two returned the item in the hope of making the woman think twice about dumping used equipment in future.
Duncan, from Stockport, Greater Manchester, said: "It was like a real-life Toy Story, albeit with a different kind of Woody. It was a whopper and obviously a much-loved member of someone's family.
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"It was pretty well battered and the elastic was frayed, it looked like it had been stretched no end and there were marks on the actual equipment, it wasn't nice.
"Part of my thinking was: 'If I send it back like that, they might think twice about discarding used equipment' - there could have been children about."
The 47-year-old said cleaner Gordon Campbell was initially shocked when he discovered what was in the box, but then had a good giggle about it.
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Duncan said: "It was found near the vacuums at 9am on Saturday morning, so possibly left overnight. We don't know if they've been cleaning their car out and left it out, or attempted to dispose of it.
"The cleaner picked it up and he gave the box a shake - once he saw what was in it, he said to me, 'You've got to come and see this.'
"Obviously no-one is going to own up to it but I just couldn't believe that whoever had disposed of it had left their name and address on the box. We were absolutely howling and the rest of the staff were too when they found out.
"We've had some bizarre things handed in before such as crutches but never any strap-ons, it was a first for me. When he took it through to the office we could see the address on it and decided to have a bit of light-hearted fun.
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"We have some shrink wrap for stock so decided to use that and post it back to them - it was fair game and they can have it back as far as I'm concerned."
Worried that neighbours might think the sex aid belonged to him, Duncan sprinted from his car to a postbox near home and quickly posted it through the opening.
Duncan said: "From a customer service perspective, we make sure where we can [that] we return goods to the owner. If anyone loses property there is an onus on us to ensure they get it back, whether they want it back or not.
"I made sure it was well wrapped and took a picture of me posting it as proof of posting, as I don't want any of my staff thinking I'd taken it home for any other reason than to post it back to its owner.
"There's a post box just round the corner from my house so when I finished my shift I thought I'd drop it in there for convenience. I was more worried one of my neighbours might see me so I dashed out of the car with it to try and get it in.
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"I had a struggle getting it in the post box and it got jammed at one stage as I was trying to force it in and I thought, 'Oh lord, it's neither in nor out.' I had to use some force to get it through the opening - I just hope the postman would see the funny side."
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