Nuclear War, a worse two-word union than 'break dancing', is one hypothetical situation we're all scared of. Anyone who says different is either a) a liar or b) Vladimir Putin.
And even though nuclear tension was arguably at its apex during the Cold War, there's still no ruling-out beef between certain nations getting so bad that they start dropping nukes left, right and centre.
Last year, the Doomsday Clock was set at 3 minutes to midnight, with the Science and Security Board claiming 'The probability of global catastrophe is very high, and the actions needed to reduce the risks of disaster must be taken very soon.' That's good a reason as any then to freak out at all possible threats.
One of the many reason to not like mushrooms. Credit: PA
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Don't believe me, yung dissenter? Cast your eyes to this video.
Watch this lad arrive at his mates', clad in his Hawaiian shirt, to a soundtrack of Beastie Boys. 'Sick,' he thinks. 'Me and my boys. Hey, pass that vape!'
He coughs and thinks that's the worst of it. But he's in for a real shock.
Some of you may already be aware of this, but there's a fake nuclear missile warning video on YouTube that you can throw on your friends or family in order to scare them shitless and make them say 'No way! Are we gonna die? What the fuck is this?' They'll be horrified at the thought of being vaporised, but you'll be laughing, 'cause it's banter.
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This lad has just drunk-driven, so he's exactly the sort that needs to be enlightened on the fragility of life. But then he rings his dad to tell him a nuke is about to wipe him out, and - well - you feel a bit sorry for him.
For those with zero-patience, the bomb-drop, as it were, comes at 4:35.
Underwhelmed? I can see that. What would you do, though? It's difficult to imagine the dread that comes with an announcement which basically sentences you to death.
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For context, here's the consequences of a near-immediate nuclear bomb:
"People inside buildings or otherwise shielded will be indirectly killed by the blast and heat effects as buildings collapse and all inflammable materials burst into flames. The immediate death rate will be over 90%. Various individual fires will combine to produce a fire storm as all the oxygen is consumed.
"As the heat rises, air is drawn in from the periphery at or near ground level. This results in lethal, hurricane force winds as well as perpetuating the fire as the fresh oxygen is burnt. Such fire storms have also been produced by intense, large scale conventional bombing in cities such as Hamburg and Tokyo."
Grim, that.
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But hey, who cares? Jay-Z fucking cheated on Beyonce.
Words by Josh Teal
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