If you're looking to buy a car on eBay and the title of a post is 'Fiat 500 2008. Needs TLC.', alarm bells should start ringing immediately.
This particular Fiat 500, put on sale by user sphlchwns, has been through the wars and is truly in desperate need of some tender loving care.
That's not to say sphlchwns wasn't a good owner, it's just that she really couldn't have given two shits about this car.
Her item description is also a refreshingly honest sales pitch that really gets to the heart of the issue as to why the owner wants to sell so bad...
This is a real bargain to be honest. Even though this car has genuinely ruined my life. I bought it for £6000 and then found out I'd been sold a CAT C car. I won't lie to you, that pissed me off.
I crashed it within the first week with some minor damage to the bumper which I haven't bothered to fix. I left it for 5 hours unaccompanied in Brixton while I attended a rave which I couldn't stay for the entirety as I had work at 6am and came back to find a can of Stella rammed in the bonnet, leaving a small crack. The rave was shit and wasn't worth it. I haven't fixed this either. I was driving down the A10 and the silver exterior came flying off, hitting the window screen and scaring the shit out of me. I still have both of these and I could fix this easily with superglue but I can't be bothered.That's just about it with the exterior damage.
My MOT is due on the 27th. This IS passable. However. The work that needs to be done is as follows. Suspension needs fixing, brake cable needs putting back up and I need two new seatbelts. I've pretty much had it with this car. It's an easy fix and it only has 90,000 miles on the clock. Just had two new tyres. Don't know why I bothered.
In all fairness, I've had some pretty good times with this car. It's never let me down, except for the upcoming MOT, and we've shared some good memories. My puppy puking everywhere in it, being pulled over for drink driving when I was actually just driving and dancing to Kate Bush erratically and getting a 6ft children's slide into it. Impressive, I know. Oh. The sunroof doesn't work. It got stuck open and the motor had to come out to get it shut. And when you press the buttons on the steering wheel they occasionally think you pressed a different one entirely.
If you're a Dad reading this, I think it's a good buy for your teenager as it will teach them patience. They also won't be able to go over 80mph without it sounding like they're going to break down.But seriously, I think this is for a mechanic that can do it up and make a big profit margin. It just needs a little love and I can't give it to it because I fucking hate the thing.
On top of buying a shite car, the person who ends up winning the bidding war will have to organise collection or delivery of the vehicle.
And of course, no returns.
At the time of writing, the bidding stands at £1750 off the back of 22 bids. Bargain, right?
Just to help the sale along, the beaten and battered motor has 90,000 miles on the clock and has air-con, power-assisted steering and power windows. Who wouldn't want it?
With such a disturbing history, this car deserves an owner who will give it the love and attention it has not received to date. No offence sphlchwns, we're sure you're a nice girl.
If you fancy putting in a bid, follow the link here. You could be the proud owner of a small slice of history.
Words by George Pavlou
Images via eBayFeatured Image Credit: