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Here It Is, The Best Ever Story About Matthew McConaughey

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Here It Is, The Best Ever Story About Matthew McConaughey

No matter the situation, however awkward or inappropriate, you know Matthew McConaughey can slip out of it thanks to his signature charm.

I'm sure there are plenty of alleged stories about the Texan, but this is by far the best and by far the most McConaughey-ish.

Even better than that bongo one.


This tale involves McConaughy nonchalantly stealing two six-packs of beer from behind a bar, before slipping into the background as if it never happened.

The kings of all things bro related, Bro Bible, recently posted an article about Redditors' depressing encounters with celebrities. Below the article, someone left a comment relaying a better story than anything in the Reddit thread.

The story goes...


A friend of mine used to tell me this story about when he worked as a security guard back in college for a private security contractor based out of Austin (read: rent-a-cops). Mostly just keeping fans away from the stage at music festivals and the like.

Anyway, one day he was assigned to a gig at the Texas Film Hall of Fame Awards ceremony. It was held in a hangar that had been decked out with a stage, dining tables, and a big catering setup. While the ceremony was going on, he was instructed to keep anyone not on the guest list or without a crew badge out. At the end of the ceremony, it was his job to make sure none of the guests left with anything they didn't bring in (apparently this is a big problem at these things?).

The ceremony went off pretty uneventfully, but at the end he sees some asshole grab a couple six-packs of Corona from behind the bar and head for the side exit. So my buddy chases him down, grabs him by the shoulders, spins him around and goes "HEY ASSHOLE! YOU CAN'T TAKE-"

And that's when he realizes he's just grabbed Matthew McConaughey. And not only does he have a six pack in each hand, he's also got a TFHoF (Texas Film Hall of Fame Awards) Lifetime Achievement Award clenched between his arm and his chest. Now my buddy is no fan of Matthew McConaughey and is not the type to be awestruck by celebrities, but he was so surprised at who he was man-handling he just kind of froze and couldn't think of what to say next.


So Matthew McConaughey just slowly backs out the door and leaves, not saying a word, beer still in hand.

Later that night my buddy got his ass chewed out by his boss for letting Matthew McConaughey escape with the beer. To this day he still curses Matthew McConaughey's name whenever it is mentioned, and considers him to be his Arch Nemesis. Though I'm fairly sure this is a somewhat one-sided rivalry.


I like to think that he backed out through old western saloon doors with a smile on his face as a tumble weed rolled across the bar.

I hope to God this is true.

Topics: Funny, Matthew McConaughey

Mark McGowan
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