Advert

Latest

​Man Who Erected 7ft Wooden Penis On His Lawn Is Fighting To Keep It Up After Being Arrested
published atin 44 minutes
Advert
Advert

Most Popular

Advert
Funny

Sir David Attenborough Tries To Scare The Queen In Her Natural Habitat

Sir David Attenborough Tries To Scare The Queen In Her Natural Habitat

The man, the myth, the legend that is Sir David Attenborough is best known for not disturbing wildlife while he narrates the natural world in all its finest.

Bloody hell, he even got attacked by a rhino once...

We're guessing that the 90-year-old is beginning to get bored of waiting for something to happen and has decided to ensure that occasions, such as meeting the Queen, are more exciting in the future.

He recently met Her Majesty in her natural habitat, Buckingham Palace, London. He attended a reception to raise awareness of an ambitious project that aims to create a global network of protected Commonwealth forests, the Queen's Commonwealth Canopy (QCC).

Advert

The national treasure opted to ignore the formalities and made sure his introduction was one worth remembering. He's not Sir Dave for nothing.

A picture can tell a thousand words, I have been told, and here's what I reckon was going through his mind in the lead up to the moment he made the Queen jump out of her skin.

"Think, you've got this.

"I'm going to tap into your inner lion who is about to catch a vulnerable wildebeest. If you fail, you could go hungry for a month, so focus! One step in front of the other and don't draw attention to yourself.

Advert

"I'm getting closer, but her pack of security appear to be on the alert. My meerkat-like reflexes should sense any danger, while distracting her army in the process. I'm not a threat.. Where's Sergei when you need him?

More Like ThisMore Like This

1 of 6
​David Attenborough Warns Our Planet Is ‘Facing A Crisis’
Entertainment

​David Attenborough Warns Our Planet Is ‘Facing A Crisis’

"She's in my sight but she now looks incredibly suspicious of me. I'll do what the wolves do; I'll retreat and choose to attack from behind and introduce the element of surprise to my plan.

"Okay, don't panic. She's seen me but her glass is empty so she may be getting a refill. I must now evolve into the marine iguana hatchling. One careless move could ruin everything. It's essential to keep completely still and hopefully she'll slither on past me. Her Majesty would kill me for comparing her to a racer snake in this situation, but she looks fierce and hungry.

"Phew, she's just gone past and now she is right where I want her to be...

Advert

"It's now or never, Dave. My stealth eagle-like swoop should do it.

"BOO!"

Image Credit: PA

Advert

What an absolute lad. Only Sir A could get away with that stunt without being arrested.

Featured image credit: PA

Topics: Sir David Attenborough, The Queen

Hamish Kilburn

Keep calm... I'm a journalist