The Rock Sings To His Daughter And She Takes A Big Dump
Being the parent to a wee baby is a full time job. They need constant attention, love and affection. As such, any time the baby is asleep is a precious freedom window and having the ability to coax a sleep out of your offspring is an invaluable skill.
This is a particularly important skill for busy parents, and there are none busier than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, who has endless filming, travelling and working out to squeeze in and around his parenting.
Fortunately for him, it seems he has nailed the art of lulling his young one to sleep through the medium of song. In a post shared on Instagram, Johnson talks us through his pride as he successfully sends little Tiana Gia to the land of nod.
The post reads: "Me: Come here baby, daddy's gonna sing to you.
"Tiana Gia: Falls fast asleep by the time daddy sings the 2nd verse.
"Me: Good Lord my honey coated gravel voice is effective. I'm feelin' very good about myself right now."
And as you should Dwayne, but then, the pleasing paternal tale takes a turn for the worse, as Tia 'proceeds to poo... BIG'.
Oh no. That's unfortunate. And if The Rock himself is describing the poo as 'BIG', then we must be talking about one absolutely mammoth turd.
The reason for this poo and its timing is unclear. Perhaps Johnson's singing was just too relaxing. Perhaps his tones were simply too bassy. Perhaps she has heard him sing 'You're Welcome' from Moana 400 times and was indicating that it is no longer welcome.
Johnson himself seemed unsure how to explain the crap.
The post continues: "Me: Questioning how I should interpret this entire emasculating situation."
View this post on InstagramMe: Come here baby, daddy's gonna sing to you. Tiana Gia: Falls fast asleep by the time daddy sings the 2nd verse. Me: Good Lord my honey coated gravel voice is effective. I'm feelin' very good about myself right now. Tiana Gia: Proceeds to poo :poop:.. BIG. Me: Questioning how I should interpret this entire emasculating situation. #DaddysArmsAndLullabies :muscle::notes: #EffectiveInEveryWay :zzz::poop::heart:
A post shared by therock (@therock) on
Now we wouldn't go that far Dwayne. It takes a hell of a lot more than a baby dump to emasculate the most electrifying man in sports entertainment history... no matter how 'BIG' it may have been.
Indeed, judging from the response to his post, he remains very much The People's Champion.
One person wrote: "Sweet baby, you are a great dad. She looks really safe in your arms."
Another wrote: "Omg. I legit just want to be his kid, lol."
There you go Dwayne. Rest assured there are people out there who would love nothing more than to be cradled in your huge arms, as you sing them a lullaby and they squeeze out a big shit.
Featured Image Credit: PA