Military Jets 'Accidentally' Draw A Giant Penis In Sky
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a...giant penis? On Tuesday, six F-35 fighter jet pilots left behind some dubious contrails resembling male genitalia - and US military officials are insisting it was simply an unfortunate accident.
The questionable penis-shaped trail was formed when the F-35 fighter jets were dog-fighting above an Arizona Air Force base, leaving behind a lingering penis-shaped tail.
Residents surrounding the Luke Air Force Base in Maricopa County shared pictures of the unfortunate looking trail on social media and questioned whether it had been deliberately formed as part of an elaborate joke.
Their doubt was perfectly warranted: Just last year, there was a frequent trend for penis shaped contrails crafted by cheeky US military officials while conducting aerial exercises.
However, in a statement supplied to the Daily Mail, officials are denying that this particular stunt was premeditated. The unseemly shape apparently came about as part of normal flight training when a four-ship 'red air' aggressor team squared off with a two-ship blue team in a dogfight.
A spokesperson from the base said, "The 56th Fighter Wing senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed...there was no nefarious or inappropriate behaviour during the training flight.
"The flight audio was reviewed by senior leadership, and it confirmed the statements by the pilots explaining what happened.
"The contrails were made by the 2-ship as they were beginning the fight with the 4-ship and then told to hold off, causing them to hook to re-position before then beginning the fight again, causing them to hook once more."
This unorthodox flight pattern is what then caused the shape of the airborne meat and two veg to form, turning the sky a different type of blue for nearby locals.
Earlier this month, a report obtained by the Navy Times found that two pilots with a bit too much time on their hands had deliberately doodled a penis in the sky during a manoeuvre above Washington State in 2017.
The most monumental thing to happen in omak. A penis in the sky pic.twitter.com/SM8k1tNYaj- Anahi Torres (@anahi_torres_) November 16, 2017
Unfortunately for them, they never expected that the drawing would be visible from the ground.
Audio from the cockpit revealed the pilot, co-pilot, and an electronic warfare officer (EWO) egging each other on to 'totally draw a penis' in the sky.
At one point, the pilot said, "Dude, that would be so funny. Airliner's coming back on their way into Seattle, just this big fucking, giant penis. We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too," before warning the EWO that the 'balls are going to be a little lopsided.'
In a statement, the US Navy apologised for the sky member and said: "We find this absolutely unacceptable, of zero training value and we are holding the crew accountable."
Unacceptable and of zero training value? Maybe. But always top fucking patter? Definitely.
Featured Image Credit: Brad Tabora