Vandals Turn Tour Of Britain Hillside Bike Into A Giant Penis

You know the drill, a group of people go out and try to do something lovely for the local community to commemorate a big event, but then a small minority of people ruin it for everyone by turning it into a dick.

It's a story as old as time itself.

The latest incident took place in the sleepy Devonshire town of Ilfracombe. They were supposed to be celebrating the fact that the Tour of Britain - a race that features Tour de France winner Geraint Thomas, as well as Giro d'Italia champion Chris Froome - was passing through their scenic bit of the world, but the vandals had other ideas

A huge bicycle was made on the hillside with the intention of looking cool as the helicopter flew overhead.

Initially, everything went to plan. Thousands of people lined the roads to cheer on the cyclists, but then, in the dead of night, it was turned into a gigantic hillside cock.

This is exactly why we can't have nice things, folks.

Actually, who are we kidding? This is exactly what should happen. Every time.

Everyone who was there for the cycling had a lovely time, and then once it had served the original purpose, what better than turning it into a huge penis. That's as British as complaining about the weather or observing a bizarre unwritten etiquette whilst standing in a line.

Actually, maybe not...

They've done a pretty good job, as well. Effectively, the wheels of the bicycle have been - shall we say - repurposed, although they remain in the original place.

The handlebars have been moved around to form the main part of the gigantic phallus. Whatever you think about the merits of this particular act of mischief, you have to applaud the precision and determination of those responsible.

They probably didn't have a helicopter to make sure that they are doing it correctly from above. Perhaps they have a side hustle going on in crop circles.

Actually, those are definitely aliens, right?

As for the actual bike race, the stage began in Cranbrook and finished in Barnstaple. The stage was won by the Australian Cameron Meyer of the Mitchelton-Scott team.

The overall lead was assumed by Alessandro Tonelli, who finished second on the stage.

Today's stage will see the riders tested on hilly terrain as they navigate a 128 kilometre long stage that starts and finishes in Bristol city centre.

Here's hoping that some more mischief makers in the South West have been busy last night.