It's quite rare to find honesty on the internet. People usually bend the truth in their favour, either racking in the likes on a status, or when applying for jobs, claiming that their skill set is far beyond what they actually have.
But that's what it's all about - putting a mask over something to further yourself, and I think we all have to respect that.
For example, if you're trying to flog something on eBay, you're hardly going to list a four-year-old iPhone 4 with: 'Been used a lot, screen is cracked, slower than my nan getting down the stairs and the charger doesn't work', are you? No. You're going to list it as in mint condition and hardly ever been used.
This dad took exception to this general rule of thumb though, because he had come to terms with just how truly shite his car is.
Dave Goodwin posted a picture of his Saab on Facebook, looking to sell the 'parcel of shit'. His first mistake was buying the car in the first place. Saabs aren't necessarily terrible motors - they're extremely sensible - but buying one is pretty much an admittance that's it going to be used to drop the kids off at school, picking the missus up from work and taking the mother-in-law for her weekly shop, while completely neglecting going to the footy, the golf course and the pub.
Anyway, poor Dave didn't try to sugar coat just how bad the car was, saying it 'runs like a smackhead with a stolen Sky box and a block of cheese under his arm', and says that if you're brave enough to buy it, then you're brave enough to see your kids denying you as their father when you drop them off at school.
In full his sales pitch reads: "FOR SALE, this absolute parcel of shit. 55 plate Saab 93 diesel; basically a Vectra in a Swedish wig.
"Engine and gearbox are good, runs like a smackhead with a stolen sky box and a block of cheese under his arm, and it's still showing taxed so you won't get pulled when your [sic] out and about selling Sputnik to kids wearing man bags.
"All the lights work as you can see, and it looks like the previous owner washed it everyday with a fucking brick.
"No time-wasters, serious buyers only. Ideal cheap family car at £695 if you can handle your wife leaving you for a crackhead on a mountain bike and your kids denying you as their father when you drop them off at school in the pile of shit. Part exchange welcome."
At least he's not feeding you lies and you know exactly what you're getting should you choose to buy it off him, so there's that.
The honest sales listings seem to be a trend for some people as of late. This lad mimicked Dave's specification for his Saab, doing it on eBay with his yellow Nissan Micra.
The 17-year-old 1.0 seemed to have really pissed off the unnamed owner over the years, as he couldn't really say one thing nice about it - except that it's quite good with fuel.
According to The Sun, the seller of the car thought he'd managed to sell it but it turned out that a hamster had walked across someone's phone and pressed 'buy it now'.
Anyway, here's the rant: "I could tell you that this car is absolutely fantastic, a pleasure to drive, has all mod cons.....But I'd be lying my little head off!!!
"To my surprise, and amazement if I'm honest, the little bag of death has got me to work and back every morning with no problems whatsoever.
"What I can tell you, is it's one of the yellowest cars in existence, and it's slow, but it is good on fuel. It doesn't have central locking, but the car is that small it's not far to reach across and unlock the passenger door from the driver's seat, so that's a bonus.
"There is also this weird slot in the middle of the radio. I originally thought it was to slide your phone into but it turns out it's for something called a tape?
"From what I can work out these were around in the early 1700s so if you buy this car, you're actually buying a piece of history.
"The car is yellow, it's basic, it's quite nasty to be fair, there is rust on the driver's wing, lacquer peel on the spoiler, but it's only done a genuine 67,000 miles and seems to be reliable and drives really well."
Credit: eBay via The Sun
"If you want a little run around, buy this car, if you want something flash, then don't, if you have any shame at all, then don't.
"The car is not available on finance, its 300 pounds sterling for god's sake, just turn up, look impressed, pay me the money in cash and drive away into an unknown certainty of driving pleasure before telling your friends about the amazing bargain you got on eBay and how good it is on fuel.
"If you're too embarrassed to drive this car through fear of losing your street cred, don't let that little problem enter your head.
"You're reading this advert for a Micra, which means you were looking for a Micra, which means you have no street cred to lose.
"Car is sold as seen so make sure you bring your glasses."
To be fair, that's fucking genius. Plus, I can't find the listing on eBay anymore so fingers crossed he's sold it. Result.
Featured Image Credit: FacebookTopics: Car