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When Will Danny Dyer Be Knighted For His Services To Geezerness?

When Will Danny Dyer Be Knighted For His Services To Geezerness?

Pretty soon, I imagine.

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

Many questions ponder the minds of those who seek to get their full money's worth out of their TV licence. Things like: is Stephen Mulhern worse than chlamydia? He pops up everywhere he's never wanted, and is really hard to get rid of, so yeah, he probably is.

However, those who do make sure they're making their money back on their licence will know that you see Danny Dyer at least six times a week on various different programmes. This isn't a bad thing, but does raise the question: when will he be knighted for his Services to Geezerness?

He's currently playing the role of Mick Carter, the landlord of the Queen Vic in Eastenders, but over the years, in shows like The Real Football Factory, Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men, Danny Dyer's Funniest Football Foul Up, and most recently, Who Do You Think You Are?, where he appears as himself, his composure and dedication to Geezerism is all too obvious.

In his own way, he's a poet. Not in the conventional sense, I'll admit, but Beat poets like William S. Burroughs used to cut up newspapers and string together random words to create their work. In effect, this is exactly how Dyer's brain works. Immersed in a cloud of cigarette smoke and stale lager, his mind grabs whatever there is floating round, causing a flow of consciousness to come out of his mouth. The end result is fantastic.

This week on the BBC's series Who Do You Think You Are?, the Cockney attempted to explore his ancestry, which, by all accounts, was hilarious. Such is the actor's pledge to the sesh, bines and working class life, he was genuinely visibly petrified by a lord's house which had its own drawbridge and moat.

When in an east-end pub with his dad, looking at some pictures over a pint, he looks upon a woman in her prime back in 1851, and in the metrical, rhythmical way that only Danny can achieve, said: "She looks nortee."

While speaking to another woman who was offering her services to track back through the 39-year-old's family, he exclaimed that he "wished he was intelligent." Listen, Dan, street intelligence is far more valuable than academic abilities, just remember that.

The trailer for this season's Who Do You Think You Are? Credit BBC

Pondering over a few documents, you can actually determine the moment when the woman's soul leaves her body, as she realises that she might be smart, but isn't fluent in Geezer.

I edited Danny Dyer on Who Do You Think You Are? down to 90 seconds of highlights

Towards the end of the episode, which is already better than anything Vince Gilligan put together on the set of Breaking Bad, the actor decides that he's going to treat himself to a ruff to just "bowl abaa in it."

He eventually finds out that he has royal connections, which does dampen his reputation somewhat, but the geezer inside of him is too strong. In my opinion, it shouldn't be Danny who should feel privileged, it should be the royals.

"It's crazy," he said, "But the fact is that I am a direct descendant of royalty."

So, back to my original question: "When will he be knighted for his services to Geezerness?"

Featured image credit: PA/BBC

Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Danny Dyer