A Brazilian woman has apparently carried out a 14-year dream of hers by paying for and hosting her own funeral. Local winner, Vera Lucia da Silvia, 44, who arranged the fake service in which she lay mostly motionless in a coffin whilst her family pretended to mourn, remarked that it was, in fact, "the best day of her life."
Her relatives, who were dead set against the idea from the get-go, participated in the macabre event but were quick to let the world know it was strictly to "show support."
Presumably because this particular caper was in fact one of Vera's slightly less feeble-minded initiatives. The mind wanders as to what else she had in her repertoire.
Advert
"Oh Vera," I can hear them say. "We'll come this time, alright? But we genuinely have much better things to be doing, dear. If this runs into Keeping Up Appearances, I'll be fuming."
I, for one, have no interest in paying for my own funeral (that's for my kids). Bills are infuriating enough as it is and the very notion of having to cough up for everyday items (in this instance a fuck-off wooden corpse box), even in death, really t's me off. Luckily, Vera, didn't need to involve herself in any financial aspects given that local philanthropist and owner of Eternal Garden Funeral Home, Paulo Araujo, donated the space and the casket as a gesture of "good will." FuneralLAD!
I'd like to think that this was the first time I'd caught wind of such a scenario but, actually, if my memory serves correctly, a chap from school who wore a Cradle of Filth t-shirt over his hoodie and impressed his mates by eating heaped teaspoonfuls of butter, once suggested something not too dissimilar. I do from time to time ponder his whereabouts. But I digress.
Video Credit: Caters
Advert
Watching the video, Vera is clearly, as the Northerners would say, buzzin' her tits off. Laid out peacefully, adorned clobber befitting of a falsified funeral, a florist carefully places bouquets of flowers upon her very much alive body with the precision and finesse expected at such a hoot of a shindig. As they powder her LIVING face (remember, NOT DEAD), she breaks into laughter. Much like a kid at Christmas or that woman with the Chewbacca mask who got really famous there for five or six days before fading into obscurity like the much-missed (and very affordable) confectionary Taz bars.
You can almost hear her thinking to herself, "it's finally happening, Vera. After all these years, you've done it. You've only gone and done it."
Da Silvia, who has a husband but no kids, you know what, you do you.
Featured image credit: Caters/YouTube
Featured Image Credit:Topics: Brazil