Porn films have their obvious entertainment values, but everyone has to admit that the captivating nature of an x-rated flick is two-fold.
On the one hand there's the reason why you're watching it, a guilt free cleaning of the pipes, followed by a cheeky wallow in self pity. But then there's the story lines of the movies.
It doesn't matter how terrible it is, if you skip from 10 seconds to a minute in, and it's gone straight to a bit of oral fun, you need to go back to find out how they got from conversation to cunnilingus.
Advert
As well as that, if you do take time to watch them, you begin to find that they're all full of non-stop hilarity. So much so in fact, that masturbation takes a back seat.
I'm not ashamed to admit that one night, on the wrong side of too many cans of lager, a group of mates and I stumbled across a porn stream while trying to find a link for UFC 204. What followed was a group of lads, not watching porn, but critiquing the scripts and plots behind various erotic videos. It was fucking hilarious. We turned each one off when it got to explicit material, heading onto the next ridiculous story line.
This particular scene, featuring a true legend of the laptop screens, Lisa Ann, just takes the piss.
You'll have to go a long way to find a video that stars Lisa that will effectively dampen your wood, thus putting you off what you set out to do. But somehow this manages it.
Advert
Weirdly the veteran temptress thinks that a lifeguard is needed for when someone is in a bath, so willingly comes to the aid of the protagonist of the story.
It's fair to assume that she's had some of the whacky-backy prior to entering the bathroom, as she proceeds to blow a whistle claiming there's 'a shark in the water'. She then says: "Aren't you glad you had a life guard here to save you. I think I should stay and I think we should have sex."
The comments are a mixed bag on the video, some lending themselves to whole ridiculous theme, others falling in the WTF category.
I'm sure all of you will be capable of watching the entire film and critiquing it yourselves. You've waited your whole lives for this.
Advert
Featured image credit: YouTube
Featured Image Credit: