When my mate told me about 'RedTube Roulette' a few weeks ago, like soggy biscuit, I thought the concept was so stupid and funny that it must have been universally acknowledged.
After finding out mine was 'Cum on my lollipop daddy' I dismissed the game and forgot about it. Then the other night it came back into my head. It just so happened that I was sat with my mate's housemate, who claimed to have invented it.
A quick Google search proved him wrong. There is a RedTube Roulette entry on Urban Dictionary from 2009 but the rules differ. It requires that players put random digits after the RedTube URL and discuss whatever video it leads to.
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That's tame. In the housemates version, you don't just apply any random numbers but rather the six digits of your birth date. And instead of discussing whatever video comes up, you have to wank to it.
So what do you do with it after working out yours and your mates? Go for some celebrities, obviously.
Here's a random bunch of famous folk and the roulette porn they'd have to fap to. Unless they already have.
LEONARDO DICAPRIO
'Sexy amateur footjob with cumshot'
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Leo's the first I could think of. He's all I've seen on social media today. His video seems like something Quentin Tarantino would prefer, though.
DONALD TRUMP
I could probably reference something here but I might get sued. Here's what the Republican candidate would get.
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'Couple has a quarrel and then sex'
JEREMY CORBYN
The Labour leader would probably be hoping for an orgy scene, you know, where everybody's getting something. Well, sorry Jez...
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'Anal intruder'
AINSLEY HARRIOTT
Judging by Ainsley Harriott's smile, he's turned on by absolutely everything. I doubt he'd struggle with this.
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'Busty chick is horny'
THE UNDERTAKER
Image: Getty
The Undertaker's been buried alive and come out the other side.
'Apple bottom pussy munching a dick' would be no challenge.
LOUIS THEROUX
'Black whore wants white dick in all holes'
"How do you do. This is a bit much, don't you think?"
EMILE HESKEY
Image: Getty
'The Red Glove'. Sounds like something up for Best Picture at last night's Oscars.
ANDY MURRAY
'Jenna Haze need I say more?'
But what would barrel of laughs Murray say?
SIMON COWELL
'Hot Nurse looking after her patient'
Standard, cliche. Very much his taste.
LORD SUGAR
'Pussylicking on the couch'
OK. That's enough. But try it out for yourself and see what you get.
Some dates might lead to errors. In which case, try removing the 0's.
Good luck.
Featured Image Credit:Topics: Jeremy Corbyn, GAME, Donald Trump, Simon Cowell