Zombie Outbreak Already Underway According To An 'Expert'
Scared of zombies? Sorry to break this but there's an invasion already underway, according to 'experts' who spoke to reputable news source The Daily Star.
Matt Mogk, of the - and stick with me here - the Zombie Research Society, has said that outbreaks have already happened at various points in history, such as the collapse of the Mayan Empire in the 10th century and the vanishing of the island Roanoke, an old European colony which is now North Carolina.
'Evidence' suggests that both were subject to cannibalism, which really could just be saying that the Mayans were really hungry.
However, there's more examples.
Matt Mogk. You trust him, don't you? Image: YouTube
Matt claims that graves found in York a few years ago of people that'd been beheaded and mutilated imply an undead apocalypse.
"Researchers first thought it was a gladiator burial site but there is no history of any gladiator events in York."
Should we be worried, or laugh? To be fair I went to Blackpool the other week and his claims seem to stack up.
Steve Hart, of the UK Preppers Guide (me neither), says: "Denying [the existence of zombies] it is the first point of call for the British government, no matter what it is.
"But if you get increasing and confirmed sightings of zombies, the government have got to come clean.
Dawn of the Dead (1978). Credit: Universal Pictures
"As far as I'm aware, the UK government itself has no plans for any type of outbreak, though I personally feel their response would be something very similar to when we had what was known as 'mad cow disease' quite a few years back.
"They would be pretty quick to bring in the police and armed forces to control it at first, but if you had a pandemic-style of attack where you have up to 30 percent of the population infected, then without a doubt borders would be closed and quarantines would be enacted.
"And then it would be full on major panic for everybody."
28 Days LAD (2002). Credit: Fox Searchlight Pictures
Matt says that Britain wouldn't even stand a chance anyway. If you wanna have a crack at surviving one of these mass outbreaks, you better be living in Australia, Canada or the USA. Why? Low populations and a lotta land.
He explained: "Australia has a very low population density, large areas of land that fleeing people can escape to.
"Canada has tonnes of land and if zombies freeze in cold weather you want to be some place where it is cold. Canada has a lot of cold.
"The United States has by far the gun ownership, we are all driving around in giant SUVs with shotguns, I like our odds."
Time to apply for that VISA, sit in a 'lot of cold' and holster a gun.
When the inevitable apocalypse comes, this article tells you how to survive it. You're welcome.
Featured image credit: MJJ Productions