Get Off Kim Kardashian's Back You Dolts

As most of you will have heard by now, Kim Kardashian West was recently robbed at gunpoint at a private residence in Paris by five thieves disguised as police. They ran off with an estimated £8 million worth of jewellery. West, who had been tied up in the bathroom, was 'badly shaken but physically unharmed'.

The 35-year-old TV megastar had been in the French capital for fashion week. Her husband, Kanye West, was over in the States performing at a Citi Field festival in New York when he heard the news. Cutting short his performance of Heartless, the rapper excused himself for a "family emergency" and cancelled the concert.

And that was it, really. Everyone just accepted the personal horrorshow for what it was and moved on. But they shouldn't have. Kim Kardashian West, over there, mooching about Paris, had it coming.

Essentially, for the laymen reading, Kardashian West once had the audacity to make a sex tape in her early 20s, and it is a truth universally acknowledged that sexually active adults deserve to experience home invasions, have guns pressed against their temple and be tied up by complete strangers.

Image: PA

There are bigger, more complex and consistent incidents going on in the world, and yet Kardashian West has the gall to sit at home on a Sunday night, have her residence broken into and steal all the limelight. Has she no sympathy or sense of perspective?

Caption: Police at the scene of the robbery; Video Credit: Ruptly

This was clearly staged. As we know, Kardashian West is short on money; virtually no-one in the world follows her on social media and her husband has to wash cars on a weekend just to put a loaf of bread on the table. She definitely fabricated this entire thing for the sake of a story and some cash to stave her off benefits.

My colleague, Sian, hit the nail on the head earlier this afternoon when she posted the following status:

Sums it all up for me. Kardashian West has earned money and spent it. She's seemingly enjoying the life she's created for herself, and that is a fucking unpardonable sin. How dare she not end world poverty?

What I'm trying to say is Kim Kardashian West would be much better off following all of us in our bitterness and cynicism, and hate everybody and everything. It's a riot.

Featured image credit: PA

Topics: Kim Kardashian

Josh Teal

Josh Teal is a journalist at LADbible. He has contributed to the 'Knowing Me, Knowing EU' and 'UOKM8?' campaigns interviewing everyone from student drug dealers to climate change activists.

@tealioni