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Jeremy Kyle Guest Says Kid Can't be His Because Woman Went On Top

Jeremy Kyle Guest Says Kid Can't be His Because Woman Went On Top

Not how it works, m8.

Mark McGowan

Mark McGowan

You think you've seen and heard it all once you finish an episode of The Jeremy Kyle Show, don't you?

Only you realise you haven't seen it all once you watch the next day's show and there's something even more ridiculous for you to behold.

There's the usual shit, I'm not the dad, he slept with my mum, my brother spanked my dog and so on, but every so often there is a special episode when baffling statements are made.

Take recent guest Aidy, for example. The guy, who clearly flunked GCSE biology, was on the show to sort out a mess with his ex and her son, who Aidy claimed couldn't be his, because women can't get pregnant while on top.

Credit: ITV/The Jeremy Kyle Show

He was accusing his former partner, Donna, of adultery because there's no way she could have gotten preggers with his child as they'd gone for cow girl, rather than missionary.

"You can't get pregnant because it just falls out," Donna said Aidy had told her. "Apparently a woman can't get pregnant if she's on top."

Understandably dumbfounded by the claim, Jeremy said: "What do you mean it all falls out? The sperm? 'Is that true? I'm not a woman? Is that true?"

Obviously Aidy gets physics and gravity, basically thinking that because what goes up must come down, there's no chance his sperm could have reached Donna's eggs. Logical, in a way, but women trying to get pregnant don't do handstands after sex, do they?

Eventually the ever reliable DNA results came back, showing that the 47-year-old was in fact the father.

"This is a classic example of a man who can't handle the thought he's got a woman pregnant and then runs away mentally and physically," Jezza said.

The pair are apparently returning to the show with their friend Gemma, so the saga isn't finished yet.

That is barmy, but these types of shows aren't strictly confined to the UK.

Spain's answer to Judge Rinder, Caso Cerrado or Case Closed, recently had an episode dedicated to a man divorcing his wife because she has no vagina.

Credit: Caso Cerrado

Now, don't get me wrong, not having a vagina is a serious medical condition and not one that should be made fun of, but going on national television to discuss it maybe isn't the way forward. However, leaving your long-term partner because of that is a massive dickhead move.

The condition, called Rokitansky Syndrome, causes the vagina and uterus to be underdeveloped or absent at birth, meaning those affected do not have menstrual periods. Usually, the first noticeable sign of the syndrome is that menstruation does not begin by age 16.

At the beginning of the show, the woman in question, Tania, is told by her husband, Alejandro, that he is divorcing her because he believes she slept with her adoptive mother. However, as the show goes on, she reveals that this is a lie, and he's leaving her because she doesn't have a vagina.

"I am here to sue this shameless tramp," Alejandro says. "I demand a divorce and I'd like to have her removed from the deed to my apartment. I caught her having sex with her supposed 'mother' on the night of our honeymoon."

He then went on to admit that the couple dated for a year before marrying, with Tania wanting to wait until marriage to have sex.

Alejandro, weirdly, claims that on their honeymoon Tania put off sex with him, and he later found her adopted mother 'penetrating' her with a dildo.

Credit: Caso Cerrado

Host Ana María Polo tells him that his story sounds like a lie, which I agree with, if I'm honest.

"I'm not like other women. I was born without a vagina," Tania says. "I was born with Rokitansky syndrome. It's a congenital abnormality where a woman's vagina is either extremely small or non existent. In my case it was nonexistent."

She then spoke deeply about how she had surgery to construct a vaginal canal, but couldn't take the pain when it came to sex.

"After having surgery. I dreamed of giving myself to him as his wife. I know he has needs and as his wife, it's my duty to meet those needs," she said. "It was awful I couldn't handle the pain. I started crying and totally freaked out. I felt mad at myself for failing as a woman. I wanted to satisfy him."

She then called her mother, who helped her dilate, a normal procedure for those suffering from Rokitansky Syndrome.

In the end Ana María Polo grants the divorce, much to Tania's dismay.

Featured Image Credit: ITV/The Jeremy Kyle Show

Topics: Jeremy Kyle