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For Brits, a full English breakfast is not just a meal. It's a statement. A staple of our culture. It's a way of life.
Because of the brilliance of the fried brekky, which is worth more than a plate of gold, we're really protective over it and respect anyone attempting to do their best to create one and then demolish it.
It goes without saying that the bigger the better (which applies to a lot of situations), because a never ending plate of bacon, sausages, eggs, hash browns, beans, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes and toast is something we've all dreamed of at least once.
That's why we'd all take on Treats Cafe's massive 4,000 calorie full English.
Unfortunately the platter is putting up a tough fight against many, and only one person has managed to finish the entire plate inside the allotted time of one hour.
If you fancy taking it on you can make your way down to the cafe in Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, where you'll pay £13.95 for the privilege, but will be refunded if you can demolish it in 60 minutes.
It contains 43 portions of 12 different fry up ingredients, sitting 1,500 calories above the recommended daily amount for men.
Sadly, the bacon could do with a bit longer in the pan, the hash browns look as if they're cooked from frozen, the sausages are quite clearly oven cooked ones (presumably Wall's or Richmond), the beans could be reduced just a little bit more and the mushrooms still look raw. Something that wouldn't put you in high regard over at the Fry Up Police.
However, the breakfast is on the menu for "good fun", according to cafe manager Ricky Bodalia.
"When someone does the challenge the whole cafe turns to watch them," he said. "The girls seem to have more willpower. 60 per cent of them have done better than the boys."
The only man to conquer the challenge is James 'Terminator' Cox, who only used just over half of the time given, cleaning his plate in just 36 minutes and 21 seconds back in November.
Many others have tried, but they have failed to take down four lots of toast, four pieces of fried bread, six rashers of bacon, six sausages, six fried eggs, six hash browns, four black puddings, two lots of bubble and squeak, two large dollops of sauteed mushrooms, two helpings of baked beans, two fried fresh tomatoes, two spoonfuls of tinned tomatoes, and, to wash it all down, either a mug of tea or coffee.
Recently a YouGov study found what the ideal fry up looks like.
At the top of the list, as you'd expect, was bacon and sausage. After a quick ask around people close to me and the person who can answer all questions regarding greasy, fried breakfasts - my dad - it was split two-two as to which was more important. YouGov found that bacon was king, with 89 percent of people saying it was the most important part of the meal.
Sausages weren't far behind, mind, racking up a nice 82 percent.
Weirdly, the next integral piece of the plate came from a food that is not actually fried. Toast.
Used mostly to mop up what's left at the end, it sat in third place with 73 percent, outlining just how important it is, should you choose to dip, wipe, mop, or combine. Maybe even make a sandwich.
Beans and fried eggs made up the rest of the top five, both getting 71 and 65 percent respectively. Oddly hash browns, a true stamp of the British breakfast, ranked lower. In my opinion they go closer to the top, especially if they're homemade. They held their own in sixth place with 60 percent.
Lovers of black pudding, despair, as the poor things only managed a dreary 11th place, unable to crack the top 10 with 35 percent. I personally think this is codswallop, but then again a lot of people are put off by the food.
In between hash browns and black pudding were fried mushrooms (48 percent), fried bread (47 percent), grilled tomato (45 percent) and grilled mushrooms (44 percent).
The rest of the rankings include things that shouldn't really make it onto a fry up, like poached eggs, chips and pancakes.
Scrambled and poached eggs got 34 and 24 percent respectively, while fried tomato, tinned tomatoes, sautéed potatoes, chips, vegetarian sausage, pancakes and boiled eggs dwindled in the late teens making up the top 20. White pudding came in at 21 with a dismal three percent, a score that is really not justified.
Featured Image Credit: SWNS
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