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​It’s Time To Admit That Having An Argument Is A Good Thing For Everyone Involved

​It’s Time To Admit That Having An Argument Is A Good Thing For Everyone Involved

Making the argument for arguing.

James Dawson

James Dawson

Two footballing legends getting in a battle of words. Featured image credit: Getty.

I've had a lot of conversations with people recently where they have complained about the state of the world right now. If only people could calm down a bit?; why does everyone get so aggy about stuff like politics?, they say.

I get what they mean; in an ideal world people would probably be a little less ragey and a lot more tranquil, but personally whenever I hear someone saying all the arguments and aggro is a bad thing, I want to turn to them and say 'shut up man, what are you talking about?'.

To be honest the whole thing annoys me: 'Can't we have more peace and love' is the kind of thing only children who don't understand the world say, and whenever I hear it said I proceed to make the argument for argument. See, even though it's not pretty, as far as I'm concerned a lot of the time having an argument is good thing, and everyone who disagrees is - to be blunt about it - just plain wrong.

I'm not saying it's worth arguing for the sake of it, but if, like me, you think the world is far from a perfect place, there's a lot to argue about right now and a lot of ways things could be changed for the better. To get things changed you need to change other people's minds, and there's no other way of doing this than having a bit of a row.

This doesn't just apply to arguing about politics or who should be in the starting line-up for your football team, but in relationships, too. The Huffington Post has reported that in a poll conducted by relationship site shaadi.com and market research agency IMRB, 44 percent of couples believe that fighting 'helps keep the lines of communication open'.

Relationship expert, Dr Pam Spurr, also reckons arguing can be good for a relationship. She told The Huffington Post: "The way in which you argue signals so much about a relationship. The wise couple acknowledges this and keeps an eye on how they treat each other over disagreements.

"Subconsciously, bickering demonstrates you care about each other, even if while bickering you feel annoyed towards your partner. For instance, it shows that you do want your partner to drink less and look after their health. Or you do want them to be on time so that neither of you are stressed out when you have places to be and things to do, etc.

"Even a proper argument can be constructive by clearing the air and letting you vent deep and truthful feelings about genuine disagreements."

Disagreement is what stops the world from being a boring place - of course it can sometimes get out of hand - but even outside of relationships it's a good thing to have a clash of opinions.

One of the other things people say about arguing is that it's pointless because when there's a difference of opinion, nobody every wants to come to agreement and we're all too stubborn to admit we're wrong.

That might be true at the time you're arguing, but I think one of the best things about having a shouting match is that once you've walked away from it you can have a think about it. I don't like to admit it, but lots of times I've looked back on an argument and realised I was in the wrong about something.

That's the best thing about having a debate - at the end of the day being challenged is a good thing. It's no coincidence that people who like to keep things quiet and not have a debate about stuff are often the people with the worst opinions. Take dictator Ki Jong-Un in North Korea. One of the main ways he stops himself being challenged is by locking up anyone with a different opinion.

We should value the fact we have free speech and we should use it.

In 2016, arguing's more popular that it has ever been. One of the miracles of the Internet is that it allows millions to argue with each other from around the world. 20 years ago, a boy from Pudsey could only have dreamed about telling someone from America that they're wrong about their favourite Michael Jackson tune, but now it's happening every day in comment sections across the web. And fuck me is it beautiful.

As long as it doesn't get too personal or nasty, what's the harm? If anything, arguing is a good way for us all to let off steam - it's time we admitted we always knew that there's nothing like a good old fashion row.

If you disagree, why not leave your opinions in the comment section - come on, lets have an argument.

Words by James Dawson



Featured Image Credit:

Topics: Angry